Smile, Baby

Smile, Baby

A Poem by Ashleyx

the worlds not gonna stop for you

its far to busy being beautiful

baby no ones gonna care

if you waste time staring at your shoes

cry cry cry baby

your cry your self dry

sob sob sob honey

wont ruinin anyone’s pillow but your own

hey hey hey baby

baby, the daises smile back

the milk is sweeter with a laugh

the skies are only black

when your glass is an empty half

cry cry cry baby

your cry your self dry

sob sob sob honey

wont ruining anyone’s pillow but your own

hey hey hey baby

your tears are a drug baby

and the children are all gigling

while your waiting in your corner

for a hand to scoop you out

but nobodies gonna come honey

get yourself up and dance

hey c’mon your life is ending

on pretty little second after another

waiting and wishing 

and praying for a change

its all inside baby

and uour the only one crying anymore

© 2010 Ashleyx

Author's Note

i wrote this in about 10 minutes or so while waiting for a show to come on. so it a rough draft, but tell me what you think so far.

My Review

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"and uour the only one crying anymore" This line is a bit confusing.

Otherwise, I liked the idea and the imagery is beautiful. Nicely conveyed that one should take action and not sulk within oneself. You end up all alone that way. I liked it. Probably read over it, though to catch some grammar mistakes.

I loved this piece.

Sincerely Livana Lowell (LL)

God bless

Posted 8 Years Ago

SB's opening verse is spot on ... The reoccurring verse nearly tells it all~~~that it's up to the indie to make themselves thrive and the verses finish the scenario off with hints that no matter what happens, it's all inside ... Good imagery through out ..
Good job, Ashleyx

Posted 9 Years Ago

Love it, has a nice flow and could possibly be turned into a song. Keep up the good work :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

thats wonderful writing for only 10 minutes:)

Posted 9 Years Ago

It's very good, especially for something rushed in 10 minutes! I loved the subject matter. Well done :-)

Posted 9 Years Ago

I like it! it reminds me of a country song called "Wrong, baby wrong." Great job!

Posted 9 Years Ago

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6 Reviews
Added on July 19, 2010
Last Updated on July 19, 2010




My name is Ashley, i am one of a kind, but really nothing special. I write, i dance, i live, i play. i love getting reviews, they make my life. So please if you wouldn't mind, please read something.. more..

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