Gravity Plays

When you find yourself wanting to be with someone but knowing instantly that it's something that's never gonna happen..

I feel you, It gets stronger,

Each step I keep forward..
I try,But you hold me back,

It throws me off track!

But I admit,

I like it being like that..
So, I come closer,

To see if you can hold me forever..
But you disappoint,

And let me off for a second..

A second that feels like a year..,

A year that's too long for me to bear.!
The closer I come,the stronger you get,

The gravity plays,till i regret!

You are my gravity,

You keep my sanity..

I watch you walk away,

From something you can't re-play..,

That moment gone,

When you're far away..
Something new born,

When you walk past my way..
And when i look down,

I feel like there's no ground beneath..

And when I try to feel,

I feel nothing,

It's like you're gone forever,

It gets frightening,

Thinking about you, i fret..

But gravity plays,till i regret!!

Author's Note

Like always,played with the words a little bit..
And sometimes not every poem has an happy ending! ;)

Please feel free to leave your reviews and suggestions ! :)

Reviews

[alifeacoustic]

Yes, I think we can all find this relatable in some way Aswin, The nervous feel in the pit of your stomach warning you too soon that it will not play out how we hope and want so dearly for it too, as we see ourselves drifting just inches out of reach, before we know it the gap has been consumed by the horizon and all we are left with is a tortured memory of what might have been.
I like this as much for the difference of pace and style I have seen in the few writes of yours I have read. Look forward to reading more.

[Aswin R Prasad]

Glad you liked it.. I always try to keep the element of freshness in each of my writes! :)
I'll try my best.. Thank you.. really appreciate it ! :)

[firabelle]

Interesting play on romance and metaphors people use to describe romantic notions/feelings. I've noticed that you like to take simple objects, simile, analogies, etc, and really make your readers think about what they really imply. It's interesting to see you play around with whatever you feel like! Really nice job on this one, though you should capitalize your 'i's... :)

[Emily]

Great idea for a poem!
Great title too by the way!
Keep on writing!!

[Tiffany K Charles]

this is sweet..... i love all your poems and writings....... i think i have more to review for you..... I'll keep my fingers crossed....

[Sage]

I loved the first two lines in the second stanza! This wordplay is very interesting and I liked its appeal! Keep the work coming!

[Jamie Starlight]

Very interesting, I like the use of gravity. Like you are forever reaching for someone but they're always on another path. Also great rhyming!!

[Aswin R Prasad]

Thank you! Glad you liked it! :)

[softlyfall]

In fact, many poems from time immemorial have tragedy at least implied.
I am going to be perfectly candid here because I sense you are serious about poetry, simply extremely young.
One thing to always keep in mind in poetry is to use only words that matter, words that count and add dimension. Even in prosaic writing, this is important or you lose the sense of art into chatter.
The poem is good but could be great..may I show you? ( and feel free to disagree with fervor and even block me but I value my integrity far too much not to be real)

I feel you get stronger each step I keep forward..
I like it being like that...

So, I come closer.

The closer I come, the stronger you get-
gravity plays till i regret!
You are my gravity,
You keep my sanity.

I watch you walk away, that moment gone.
There's no ground beneath me.
I feel nothing but fear because...

gravity plays, till i regret!!

[Aswin R Prasad]

In the line "I feel you, it gets stronger", "it" is the attraction.. Not her..
And in the line "So i come closer to see if you can hold me forever" i meant to put a doubt in the readers mind if she and i are meant to be! And instantly show my regret 'cuz it's never gonna work out! And in the line "I watch you walk away, from something you can't re-play" i meant that we can't get the time that we had back,so we should make the most out of it! And i can explain each and every line of the poem like this.. I know what i want to express and it's not my fault you interpreted this poem in a wrong way! Please don't play with the poets emotions!

Thanks anyway!

[Solar]

/Each step I keep forward..
I try,But you hold me back,
It throws me off track!
But I admit,
I like it being like that../

These lines seem to be the crux of the poem - the poet is held back by her, but 'likes being like that'.

While the poem centres around a relationship with 'her' it can also extend to the fear of flying free from ties.
The pull of 'Gravity' in all its senses becomes a regret that is repeated in life and in the poem.

[Aswin R Prasad]

Right on the point! So glad that you could understand ! :)
Thank you for your time and review! :)

[Solar]

you are most welcome Ashwin.

[Clare]

Wow that's good! I really like how apparent your feeling are, and I don't really have to think twice about what you mean!
Good Work!

[Aswin R Prasad]

Thanks ! :) I like to use simple words and play with it to convey the intense feelings that i have while writing these poems! ;)

[zunie frost]

Sad piece of work but nicely done with percect combination of rhymes ! Love this . It's great

[Aswin R Prasad]

My love for rhythm ;)
Thanks for your time.. glad you liked it! :)

[zunie frost]

You are really good at this !! very welcome