Gravity Plays

Gravity Plays

A Poem by Aswin R Prasad
"

When you find yourself wanting to be with someone but knowing instantly that it's something that's never gonna happen..

"
I feel you, It gets stronger,
Each step I keep forward..
I try,But you hold me back,
It throws me off track!
But I admit,
I like it being like that..
So, I come closer,
To see if you can hold me forever..
But you disappoint,
And let me off for a second..
A second that feels like a year..,
A year that's too long for me to bear.!
The closer I come,the stronger you get,
The gravity plays,till i regret!

You are my gravity,
You keep my sanity..
I watch you walk away,
From something you can't re-play..,
That moment gone,
When you're far away..
Something new born,
When you walk past my way..
And when i look down,
I feel like there's no ground beneath..
And when I try to feel,
I feel nothing,
It's like you're gone forever,
It gets frightening,
Thinking about you, i fret..
But gravity plays,till i regret!!

© 2016 Aswin R Prasad


Author's Note

Aswin R Prasad
Like always,played with the words a little bit..
And sometimes not every poem has an happy ending! ;)

Please feel free to leave your reviews and suggestions ! :)

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Yes, I think we can all find this relatable in some way Aswin, The nervous feel in the pit of your stomach warning you too soon that it will not play out how we hope and want so dearly for it too, as we see ourselves drifting just inches out of reach, before we know it the gap has been consumed by the horizon and all we are left with is a tortured memory of what might have been.
I like this as much for the difference of pace and style I have seen in the few writes of yours I have read. Look forward to reading more.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aswin R Prasad

4 Years Ago

Glad you liked it.. I always try to keep the element of freshness in each of my writes! :)
I.. read more



Reviews

Interesting play on romance and metaphors people use to describe romantic notions/feelings. I've noticed that you like to take simple objects, simile, analogies, etc, and really make your readers think about what they really imply. It's interesting to see you play around with whatever you feel like! Really nice job on this one, though you should capitalize your 'i's... :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Great idea for a poem!
Great title too by the way!
Keep on writing!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


this is sweet..... i love all your poems and writings....... i think i have more to review for you..... I'll keep my fingers crossed....

Posted 4 Years Ago


I loved the first two lines in the second stanza! This wordplay is very interesting and I liked its appeal! Keep the work coming!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Very interesting, I like the use of gravity. Like you are forever reaching for someone but they're always on another path. Also great rhyming!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aswin R Prasad

4 Years Ago

Thank you! Glad you liked it! :)
In fact, many poems from time immemorial have tragedy at least implied.
I am going to be perfectly candid here because I sense you are serious about poetry, simply extremely young.
One thing to always keep in mind in poetry is to use only words that matter, words that count and add dimension. Even in prosaic writing, this is important or you lose the sense of art into chatter.
The poem is good but could be great..may I show you? ( and feel free to disagree with fervor and even block me but I value my integrity far too much not to be real)

I feel you get stronger each step I keep forward..
I like it being like that...

So, I come closer.

The closer I come, the stronger you get-
gravity plays till i regret!
You are my gravity,
You keep my sanity.

I watch you walk away, that moment gone.
There's no ground beneath me.
I feel nothing but fear because...

gravity plays, till i regret!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aswin R Prasad

4 Years Ago

In the line "I feel you, it gets stronger", "it" is the attraction.. Not her..
And in the li.. read more
/Each step I keep forward..
I try,But you hold me back,
It throws me off track!
But I admit,
I like it being like that../

These lines seem to be the crux of the poem - the poet is held back by her, but 'likes being like that'.

While the poem centres around a relationship with 'her' it can also extend to the fear of flying free from ties.
The pull of 'Gravity' in all its senses becomes a regret that is repeated in life and in the poem.


Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aswin R Prasad

4 Years Ago

Right on the point! So glad that you could understand ! :)
Thank you for your time and revie.. read more
Solar

4 Years Ago

you are most welcome Ashwin.
Yes, I think we can all find this relatable in some way Aswin, The nervous feel in the pit of your stomach warning you too soon that it will not play out how we hope and want so dearly for it too, as we see ourselves drifting just inches out of reach, before we know it the gap has been consumed by the horizon and all we are left with is a tortured memory of what might have been.
I like this as much for the difference of pace and style I have seen in the few writes of yours I have read. Look forward to reading more.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aswin R Prasad

4 Years Ago

Glad you liked it.. I always try to keep the element of freshness in each of my writes! :)
I.. read more
Wow that's good! I really like how apparent your feeling are, and I don't really have to think twice about what you mean!
Good Work!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aswin R Prasad

4 Years Ago

Thanks ! :) I like to use simple words and play with it to convey the intense feelings that i have w.. read more
Sad piece of work but nicely done with percect combination of rhymes ! Love this . It's great

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aswin R Prasad

4 Years Ago

My love for rhythm ;)
Thanks for your time.. glad you liked it! :)
zunie frost

4 Years Ago

You are really good at this !! very welcome

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

815 Views
24 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 23, 2016
Last Updated on March 15, 2016
Tags: Gravity, Poem, Love, One sided, Disappointment

Author

Aswin R Prasad
Aswin R Prasad

Payyanur, Kannur, India



About
I'm 18. I've been writing poems since for a while now..Most of the poems i write are based on my feelings.. The poems i write are mostly unorthodox and i tend to keep it that way! ;) Also love t.. more..

Writing
Blank Blank

A Poem by Aswin R Prasad


B***H B***H

A Poem by Aswin R Prasad



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Scared Scared

A Poem by Érenn