Very nice. I am able to see the emotion in your work.
However, I not sure about this, so correct me if I misunderstood, but in the first line, I think you meant 'than i want to breathe'. 'Then' is a time-based word, 'than' is a comparison word. When you say 'then' that means you are going to the following words after the first part. When you use the word 'than', it means you would prefer that to the other action. And the word 'breathe' is the verb, 'breath' is the noun. I also believe you don't need 'a' in your 5th line: 'with him i am whole'.
If you wrote it this way intentionally (for any type of meaning) this is fine, but be aware of capitalization, commas, periods, and other grammar tools.
I apologize if I am unclear or if I appear to be harsh. I am bit uptight at times. Anyways, I did love this writing. Please keep it up! I'll be looking forward to more! :)
I understand that you are a 'Juliet' to your 'Romeo'.
I like this line:"Without him I am imperfect'
Very lovely poem.
I can feel your love and passion for him.
Don't know if you meant it this way, but the last line is kinda creepy. Have you watched that "Overly Attached Girlfriend" video? It's kinda like that.
I am a 15 year old writer. I play vollyball and love to go for a midnight run around the neighborhood. im taken and love music and lots of other things. if you wanna learn more about me message me
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