Buffy and Susie visit the Statue of Liberty

Buffy and Susie visit the Statue of Liberty

A Story by bailish
"

Two girls take a trip to see the Statue of Liberty in New York in the Summer before they go off to college. How have their lives changed?

"

Two girls were walking down the airport corridor, rolling two heavy Louis Vuittons each, when the sound of a Riyanna hit started playing.  The girls stopped.  Susie pulled out her cell phone, looked at the number, and answered with a sugary sweet "Hi, Daddy!"  Pause.  "Yeah, we just arrived.  TTFN"  Pause.  "OK, See ya!"  Then she turned to her friend Buffy and said, "Gosh, he can be such a fossil."
"Susie, your father is so cool paying for this summer trip before we start college."
Buffy showed a mouthful of veneers as she smiled.  She wore her blonde hair long and straight down her back, while Susie’s bleached hair was tied back in a ponytail.  
"Yeah, he said he wanted me to see the world.  He said it would change my ‘world-view,’ whatever that means,” Susie said with a roll of her eyes.  And then with a flick of her head that had as much continuity as changing a channel, she added, “New York is so, New York, isn't it."  She gave Buffy that look peculiar to teenaged girls; her head cocked, her eyebrows somewhat raised and her lips slightly pursed as if she'd just uttered some universal, profound truth.

Buffy looked around.  "Yeah.  This airport does feel ... different."

"But it's so hot here.  How do these women wear bras in this heat?  I'm about to die."  She let go of her bag handles and stopped.  Buffy stopped and dropped also.  Susie tried to straighten her clothes in a not very discreet manner.
"Wasn't that airplane ride the bestest thing?  It was just like a slumber party, staying up all night talking in pajamas, only not nearly as long."
"With lots of strangers around," added Susie, as the two girls giggled.
Buffy's eye caught something.  "Susie, don't look now, but there's a guy looking straight at you."
"Is he hot?"
"Oh, he's sooooo hot!"
"Oh no! Is my hair all right?"
"Your hair's fine, but your b***s are crooked."
"Oh.  My.  God.   Is he looking now?  Can I straighten my bra?"
"He's walking this way."  Buffy shook her little skirt in excitement.
"Buffy.  Don't leave me like this.  Help me straighten things.  This could be the biggest moment of my life."  Susie's anxiety came through her shaky voice.
Buffy was the calm and collected one now.  "Look, just face the wall and do what you have to do.  I'll keep him looking at me."
Susie was indignant.  "Like a real sacrifice.  Thanks, Miss of Arc", she said, not trying to hide her sarcasm.  She squirmed as she tried to adjust her clothes behind her friend.
"Fine.  Be that way.  He's getting closer.  Just thought you’d like to know."
Buffy gave a disinterested look which a teen girl gives when she wants to be noticed.
"Buffy, my clasp is caught!"
"Don't open here.  Everyone will see that it's a padded bra and think you're a young boy in drag."
"Oh, you b***h!  How far away is he now?"
"Just a few more steps, 3, 2..."
"Got it!"
"1!"  Buffy's eyes reflected boredom, and Susie instantly adopted the look of her sister in ennui.
But the boy didn't stop.  He walked on past them, up to an  elderly lady struggling with her bags just behind the two girls.
"Hi, Grandma!" he said to the woman.
"Well, hello, Billy.  How's my favorite grandson?"
"Just fine.  The rest of the family is still at Mass.  I left early to pick you up."
Billy picked up her bags and they walk back past the two girls who tried desperately not to show their disappointment.
"He's a good boy."
"A good Catholic boy."
"Mmm.  Deelish."
"Oh, Buffy, we're BFFs, aren't we?"  Susie gave a little smile that looked as sincere as the Cheshire cat.
"Forever."  They hugged each other and kissed the air in a very practiced way.  Then they picked up their bags and continued on their way.
"Let's get a taxi to the ... Where are we going again?"  She rustled some papers looking for the name.
"The Statue of Liberty.  Sternenberg said we shouldn't miss it."
"You're following the advice of your social studies teacher?  Gawd!" said Buffy.
"Yeah, I know.  You won't tell, will you?"
"Yeah, I'll post it on like MySpace, right next to the picture of your last boyfriend."
"Oh, you s**t!"  And Susie gave a little swing of her arms reminiscient of a kindergartener.
And with that, they walked out of the door of the airport, arm in arm.
Outside the airport, the two girls walked to the curb and flagged down a taxi.  One stopped right in front of them.  The driver got out, opened the trunk, and reached for their bags without saying anything.  Susie then had a startled look on her face.  She turned to Buffy and asked quietly, "Do they speak English here?"
Buffy gave a smirk.  "Of course they speak English here.  It's not like we went to, like, Canada or something."
"Right.”  And then in a meek voice, she said, “Uh, excuse me, driver, we'd like to go to the Statue of Liberty."  But the driver didn't acknowledge her.
Susie turned back to her friend.  "Are you SURE they speak English here?"
Buffy had the answer again.  "New Yorkers are just very rude.  They don't know how to talk to, like, other people.  They just ignore each other all the time."  This explanation placated Susie again as they got into the back of the taxi.
The driver sat in the front seat, and turned back to the girls, still not saying anything for the longest three seconds in recorded history.  "Where to?"  grunted the driver.
The look on Buffy's face was that of confusion.  "Huh?"
"Where to?"  The driver grunted louder this time.
Buffy turned to Susie and quietly said, "I think you're right.  He doesn't sound like he speaks English."  then she turned back to the driver and said in very slow, clear, and loud language, "We-O want to go-O to the Statue-O of Liberty-O."
This seemed to satisfy the driver as he turned around, dropped the gear into drive, and screeched the wheels in his eagerness to take them to their location.  Anyone within a few feet of the taxi would have then heard a loud and long spiel of profanity, but the girls were giggling so hard in the backseat that they missed out on it, thinking he was speaking some foreign language.
Suddenly, as they were pulling out of the pickup zone, Susie cried out, "OMG, did you see that?"
"What?"
"That woman was " and then in a whisper "breastfeeding " and returned to normal voice "her baby.  Right there next to the street."
"Oh my God.  Who are these people?"
The driver just scowled as they drove on.

Later, the taxi pulled up to the ferry to the Statue of Liberty.  Susie looked out the window, and in an indignant voice said,  "This isn't the Statue of Liberty."
The driver was getting impatient with them and all toursits.  "This is the ferry to the Statue.  This is as close as the road goes."
In an obnoxiously loud voice, Susie answered, "Oh, you DO speak English!  I'm sure your family's very proud of you."  They paid the fair plus the luggage fee, and then gave him a quarter.  "And this is for you."
The driver just looked at the quarter, then at the girls, then laughed out loud as he got out of the taxi to unload the trunk.  He dumped the bags on the street, got back in the taxi, and screeched the wheels again.
The girls just stood on the curb looking dumbfounded for what felt like hours.  Then Susie spoke.  "Saved a quarter."  Then they picked up their bag handles, turned around, and walked to the ticket entrance.

"Oh, see that cute guy over there?"
"Oh duh, like I don't have eyes."
"Oh, that one could be your next boyfriend."
"Oh, you b***h!  He looks like he's the 'before' picture in a zit cream commercial."

 

© 2008 bailish


Author's Note

bailish
This was written for fun. Please let me know if you think any phrases or references are out of date.

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Featured Review

i'm laughing as this brought back memories of my senior trip to New York and visiting the Statue of Liberty for the first time. Wonderful and enlightning story. When I took my children, they were restoring the statue and one couldn't get up into the arm at all. One thing for sure every ethnic group who come to America visits the Statue of Liberty. I live upstate New York and haven't been downstate for years.
Thanks for sharing ... hugs and love .. AliceAnn

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Fun Fun Fun
I laughed all the way thru it


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very cute! The slang was pretty good, I thought (but don't take my word for it, I'm 30 and probably out of the "cool" lingo by now lol).
Reading this reminds me of girls I know that are a lot like that so I think you captured the personality very well. And I got a kick out of it. : )

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i'm laughing as this brought back memories of my senior trip to New York and visiting the Statue of Liberty for the first time. Wonderful and enlightning story. When I took my children, they were restoring the statue and one couldn't get up into the arm at all. One thing for sure every ethnic group who come to America visits the Statue of Liberty. I live upstate New York and haven't been downstate for years.
Thanks for sharing ... hugs and love .. AliceAnn

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

well i was going to review this but i see that leah has pretty much already covered all the bases i was going to hit.

i think this has potential but as it is i found the girls relation to each other and their language to be unrealistic and not very believable. sorry.

as leah said you could either keep this light and as a boy crazy comedy or use it to show how youth often misses the point completely when presented with symbols like the statue of liberty or ground zero.

either way i agree that the terms the girls use should be updated. i think watching mtv if possible is a great idea. or possibly even just going on a teen forum here on the internet might be useful.

i would have liked a little more interaction with billy as there was a lot of build up in the girls freaking out and then he just walks by and they are disappointed. i personally would have enjoyed an awkward confrontation of some sort.

again your best parts were the the cluelessness regarding the taxi driver who probably wanted to strangle their pretty necks. lol.

i hope that you continue to work on this piece and update the language and maybe edit some of the trip... plus i want to see what happens next! is there going to be a chapter 2?

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I see you did try to bring it up to date with the slang, but I'm sorry to say - it didn't come across as believable still - I know I sound awful probably, but dialogue is tricky - especially if you aren't really familiar with the natural flow between the characters you are creating. I think if you want to get more of an idea about how teens talk you could read the way they message each other back and forth on myspace or maybe watch some of the MTV reality shows, even some of the teens here on the Cafe have that hip way of speaking.

Other readers may feel differently - I am just one person and my opinion may be off base.
I simply don't read the interaction between these two characters as believable, yet.

If this were my story, I'd solicit the advice of some teens to help tweak the dialogue. There are plenty of aspiring young writers on the Cafe and I'm sure their suggestions would help this piece along and you would have things to offer them with your critiques in return.

Personally, I've said enough and feel it is time to show you - I can be quiet.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This reads like a Saturday Night Live skit - making fun of ditzy teen blondes who haven't a clue about the world because they are preoccupied with "boys".

Some of the language was unrealistic for this particular generation of Myspacers- who often speak with text messaging terms such as BFF, TTFN, TTYL, OMG - the opening line of it being "neat" for a father to pay for the trip - stands out -a more up to date slang term or simply saying "cool" might make it read as a current piece. Also, it is rare a teen with a father who can afford such a trip and private school would still be in braces with brightly colored rubber bands....just prior to going off to college. Most teens who need braces and are members of financial stable families have already completed the teeth-straightening process before their sophmore year of high school.

In the age of Victoria Secrets and Miracle Bras ... stuffing a bra with cotton is no longer a common practice. Unfortunately, spoiled rich teen girls simply get implant surgery - and Daddy pays for it.

"Gag me" was also a phrase that seemed out of place - it was a popular phrase in the 80's- the valley girl era, but not heard too much nowadays.

I think the story had some funny moments, such as one girl's shock at seeing a woman breast feeding and the fact that they didn't think the driver spoke English.

Personally, I found it comical that you tossed in a bit about one taking the advice of her English teacher - since you teach English in a Catholic School for girls, but really after reading this I wonder if you really do teach English in a Catholic School for girls NOW - maybe a few years back, but in 2008?

You know I also teach teens and one of the benefits or curses of that job is being introduced to the
current slang terms, fashion trends, and musical tastes of this generation - simply because you are around
multitudes of youth for several hours a day.

I think if the girls had been advised by their Social Studies teacher...to visit Ground Zero and stand where so many lives were lost at the time of 9/11 - which was history within the lifetime of the girls - and these teens missed the significance by remarking on how "Hot" this young man or that young man was - in photos posted by families in rememberance of their loved ones....would have sent a chilling message and made this story - more current as well.

Overall, the characters were not believable - they were more like caricatures that exaggerate features of people in a cartoonish way. I think that was what you were going for - slightly over the top comedy of the boy-crazed teen girls. It was a fun read, but I have stated again and again - it isn't current, however, if you tweaked it by setting it a few years back or by bringing it up to date - the basic comedy of how "dumb"
teens can be is timeless enough it will always get a laugh no matter which era you decide to use as a backdrop.


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This reads like it was a lot of fun to write. Your bio tells me you're a teacher? Is this the age group you teach? Sounds like you've been paying attention to their conversations!

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 18, 2008
Last Updated on August 5, 2008

Author

bailish
bailish

You've seen one polluted city, you've seen them all., Thailand



About
I want to be a writer, just like you. My goal is to write 10 pages a day. I often fall short, but I just try harder the next day. more..

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