Merciful Mistress

Merciful Mistress

A Poem by barleygirl
"

among the waves and particles . . .

"

Sipping slops itty bitty dawn drops
ting tang diddly swig till my thirst stops
sketchy critter skitters hop my rooftop
ponder-free we will always be . . .

Zoom bop boom under thundering drums
munch a buttery strum of tender crumbs
crashing and splashing in waves that thrum
fancy free: how we strive to be . . .

Your essence mimes my seashell chimes
limes droop low as thyme tousles rhymes
do inject a dime of your whimsy enzyme
floating free and ponderey . . .

Whimsical wonders become our witness
shushing shivers twist tines with swiftness
wholehearted heart is a merciful mistress
free to believe what we see . . .

© 2019 barleygirl


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Love your wordplay and imagery

You should try your hand at the Pandora's Box of Horrors annual Halloween contest. This year's contest prompt is #TwistedNurseryRhymes – listen to an example here: https://soundcloud.com/momzillanc/mary-mary-how-does-your-garden

Join the contest here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1751207081817991/permalink/2387686161503410/


Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

This sounds great. With the unseasonably cool August we've had, I'm already in an autumn mindset, wh.. read more
MomzillaNC

3 Weeks Ago

You've had an "unseasonably cool August?" Not us. Well… to be fair, it's not been as hot as July... read more


Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Reviews

And once you finish the bottle, spin round five times then recite this three times. Only then, can you hope to escape the matrix 😀
I tried, and am now twingue-tousted in the head. (not much change there then)
Gotta love a poem you can zoop bop boom and whimsical lyrics wonder. 😀


Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

I never did "zoop-bop-boom" before I started at the cafe 3 years ago, so I blame this place! This is.. read more
I can't say I had a clear picture about what was going on here, but like other reviewers |I really enjoyed the kaleidoscope of images and words, with their sound effects - both alliteration and assonance. Reminded me of Gerard Manley Hopkins poetry... or the medieval writer of Piers Plowman:
I was wery, forwandred, and wente me to reste
Undur a brod banke bi a bourne side;
And as I lay and leonede and lokede on the watres,
I slumbrede in a slepynge, hit swyed so murie.
Thenne gon I meeten a mervelous sweven,
That I was in a wildernesse, wuste I never where;
And as I beheold into the est an heigh to the sonne,
I sauh a tour on a toft, tryelyche i-maket;
A deop dale bineothe, a dungun ther-inne,
With deop dich and derk and dredful of sighte.
A feir feld full of folk fond I ther bitwene,
Of alle maner of men, the mene and the riche,
Worchinge and wandringe as the world asketh.

Sorry to cut and paste a chunk, but I hope you'll agree it's glorious in its rhythm and sound, even if some of the words are unfamiliar. If you sound it out it make sense - and you'll realise he uses alliteration freely.

Sorry, I've taken up more space than I should... Thank you; I enjoyed this rich poem enormously.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you for sharing this & for the comparison, which is the highest praise! You completely get wha.. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Jb
Overall a very nice poem. I really enjoyed the last two stanzas of this poem, but the imagery in the first two stanzas seemed bit muddled. Some of the lines (in the first two) worked, but others not so much. They left me with kind of a neutral feeling. I felt that I had to reread it too many times to enjoy absorb it.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

This is one of the most well-expressed critical comments I've ever gotten! I completely get the way .. read more
a playful buffet of rhyme and alliteration. a sheer delight as it rolls off of the tongue in rapid-fire succession. pretty powerful - that enzyme. this one brought me to my knees begging "mercy, mercy" from the mistress ... :)

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

I love this review . . . very playful & throwing smiles all the while! I came here a straightforward.. read more
Sounds as though the poet was doing some free associating in this one. Interesting word combinations and rhymes throughout. Damn, I sure wish I could get hold of some of that whimsey enzyme. Have to settle for cheap red until I do.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

Being a technical writer for 30+ years, I was so literal & linear in my writing when I first started.. read more
Alliteration in a smorgasbord of delightful poetic frescos of wordplay. The final stanza sort of says it all and we all want a bit of that! {Think you and that Bunny have been makin babies together here]

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

Getting to know bunny is definitely a series of lessons in finding life in the abstract! *wink! wink.. read more


I could well do with one of these myself Margie.. a merciful mistress I mean.. someone quite clean but incredibly obscene .. if ya know what I mean .. I dont want my part tickles tickling but my whole tickles tickling ..... (TUPS) .. N

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

"Someone quite clean but incredibly obscene" . . . that may be my favorite pickup line EVER! I know .. read more
Neville

3 Weeks Ago


........................... (TIPS).... x
dear Margie... I read this several times... it reminds me of
the creatures in nature and how they feel about sipping and
nippling from the vine... flying up in treetops... only to land
in a resting place. A dance of life with or without feathers.
truly, Pat

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

You are so correct in seeing that I slip into nature's mindset as one way to stop myself from being .. read more
Almost made me snort my coffee! I love it!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you for stopping by for a little snort! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie
Margie - you get me every time
I wonder how you get each to rhyme
So clever with words you are
For me it seems so long, so far.
I could go on but things get hazy,
could it be I'm so damn lazy?
I'll have to try harder, to be a wit
but then again who really gives a s**t?

Take care - Dave

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

This is hilarious & I'm laughing like crazy! If only you could "let go" to this degree when you are .. read more
Dave

3 Weeks Ago

STOP! STOP your giggling! I meant this as SERIOUS STUFF! NOT!! Glad I could bemuse and amuse y.. read more

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

271 Views
20 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 26, 2019
Last Updated on August 26, 2019

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



About
Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

Writing
Deliveries Deliveries

A Story by barleygirl


Recess Recess

A Poem by barleygirl


Payback Payback

A Poem by barleygirl



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..