Dandy Delivery

Dandy Delivery

A Poem by barleygirl
"

bad bunny caters . . . I'm jus' sayin'

"

Since we’re living in a gig economy
he snagged a third job in gastronomy
fetching food for the wild boondocks
dandy deliveries sporting swell socks.

Heading for the hills can be a hoot
them hillbillies grow such pungent loot
not yanking mary jane to get some jute
a hick starts to shoot, it’s time to scoot!

Diving deep into a mysterious holler
where wild-eyed loners thrive in squalor
under his cloche a sweet banana dream
will she ask him in to whip up his cream?

Sandwiching the front door, a gap so vast
cloud nibbles moon in a hungry forecast
door unlatches to a waif sucking candy
she greets this bowtie-donning dandy.

Salivating all day for his banana treat
ditching the cloche and not a bit neat
pouty lips ploughed right through his cloud
his blood-curdling howl was long and loud.

What backwoods wench is next on his route?
A prune-faced widow with a whiskery snout
not much of a gander but wow can she savor
sucks the dickens from each and every flavor!

Almost done with the job’s grueling demands
his last delivery favors the laying on of hands
God knows he’s gathered a shitload to atone
amends are fervent laying hands on his bone.

© 2019 barleygirl


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OMG, what to say about this ditty of a dandy poem?? First off- this is off the charts hilarious Margie! And so clever- “Gig economy”- great phrase among many throughout. Dandy double entendres abound for a risque Dr. Seuss-esque romp through a food (or other) delivery day for B.B.? Oh no, somebody’s been very busy lately. Your stellar imagery, descriptive genius and perfect rhyming fill this poem with pure joy and abandon. Originality unplugged! Love it! Love it! Laughing hard!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Your reviews are the cat's meow and the dog's tummy rub all wrapped up! *smile* I'm not only talking.. read more
You're not only talented but have a great sense of humor too. haha This is one unique poem I don't expect to see anyone else come close to in skill. lol

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you for great kudos & I'll admit, I thrive on cracking myself up! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie
OH MY!!!!! Who is horny today? "under his cloche a sweet banana dream will she ask him in to whip up his cream" I am ALMOST blushing here! LOL What a delightful romp this is. Catering indeed. Methinks Robert would be happy to cater many meals this way! Oh, Margie, you are wonderful. Lydi**

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you for appreciating (or shall I say "tolerating") my penchant for raunch! *wink! wink!* Hope .. read more
Hmm I never thought of catering in this light before LOL but I suppose being in the "service" industry it is kinda like that... the nice part is when a customer is rude I don't have to smile and bear it I can just tell them to leave:)! The funny thing is (aside from your poem) I deal with customers flirting all of the time to an extent i find it flattering but sometimes it is rather creepy I don't want to hurt there feelings so often i just ignore them and when it happens to one of my waitresses I usually finish serving for them and vice versa. It is a strange dynamic some people think because they are getting served that gives them this licence to act whatever way they want, I have had waitresses cry they have been so upset at how people treat them. But most often I love to make people happy even if its in a mundane way such as enjoying a good meal and or catering. But i would probably be happier tinkering in the back or writing all day:) or buying more strange socks! I say Wow again on this write Margie your voice is so amazing to see and I love the things that come and visit you on your porch

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


I heard you laughing at the end of this one. Well, either that or a banshee just got snared. 😀
If you wanna get ahead in life, start delivering food to stones. They will tip well and not always in cash 😀
I recently got sent a little of the new Tyson gear and it's aptly named. I woke up on the floor after the count of ten... Slices of pizza 😀
Keep on rockin Margie, the world needs alternative thinking.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I make all my bread from scratch! Yum! Let's share a warm bun with coffee/tea!
Lorry

2 Weeks Ago

Cinnamon n raisin please, and a tall, skinny Latvian. I mean Latte 😀
barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

*smile* . . . .
lots of good natured poking goin' on 'round here ..;) hm so Bad Bunny caters does he :)))))))))))))))))) "..gig economy" .. brilliant .. could go anywhere with that one says i! there are hollers in front..hollers behind .. so can relate to your hillbilly rhyme ...V3 L1 & 2 .. i have to tell you this little story .. my Norma was sitting on our front porch and from the corner of her eye she saw a woman standing on the dirt road passed our cabin .. staring down the holler .. then she simply walked into the woods and disappeared .. Norma got my attention because it was so weird .. there is nothing around us that would place someone on foot at that spot .. there were no cars in or out of our little land .. she just showed up and blink . was gone .. we mentioned it to our Sheriff's investigator (we have a Neighborhood Watch) and he said that crack heads get high and wander in the woods looking for arrow heads .. i'm like your kidding .. nope .. they look for them to sell .. to get high .. to wander again etc etc. .. anyway those lines reminded me of that .. back to your poem .. so the Bunny is uncovered for once and for all .. :) he's a voracious delivery boy sounds like :))) i can't wait for his reply..which i am sure is forthcoming .. another fun romp with the Barley Girl .. delightful lighthearted rhythm and rhyme says i!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

That's exactly what tickled my fancy. I forget to name my weird characters & this one brings other i.. read more
Einstein Noodle

2 Weeks Ago

:) ..............
barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks to your lively share for this morning's poem *smile*

this sure hits the spot Margie.. and right where it was most needed.. the perfect mix of wit, rhyme, humour and sox... or should that read sucks........... (DICKS) fondly.. Me :)

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I seem to have bumped off into a patch of hornies, I guess! *wink! wink!* Thanks for humoring me whe.. read more
Neville

2 Weeks Ago

tis a pleasure as always.... and nothing short of NUGs... fondly N :)
Fantastic... a touch of Dr, Seuss done in the sweet style of Barelygirls wit and humor.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I'm getting fired up in the "creepy" concepts already! Imagine how disgusting I'll be by October! *w.. read more

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Added on September 5, 2019
Last Updated on September 5, 2019

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



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