Potted Penis

Potted Penis

A Poem by barleygirl
"

for Jibey (he has NOT sent any dick pics!)

"

My oh my, please tell me why
even for a shy sensitive guy
restraint finally goes awry
modesty bids a hasty bye-bye
when the penis begins to ossify
lofty baton rises to electrify
begging a bloke to immortalize
waving wand leaps to new highs
a penis impatient to verbalize
how happily we can harmonize.

In time every lad sends a dick pic
showing off how hard and thick
sharing his irresistible sidekick
tapping into his inner lunatic
he oils his rod shiny and slick
not to suggest we turn a trick
simply for me to adore his dick
and after that first addictive click
he can’t stop flaunting his joystick.

Too many dic picks to apprehend
so I tap the insight of an old friend
showing him social media’s dividend
he sees nothing amiss with this trend
longing for a dick that will still distend
after his decided to eternally descend
nowadays he hastens to recommend
preserve that penis in a sacred shrine
when a tree grows tall and hard as pine
it’ll be fun to recall how utterly divine
when sexual zeal would never decline.

© 2019 barleygirl


Author's Note

barleygirl
Some random guys (strangers) send dick pics & it's a sleazy gesture.
I'm not talking about these guys. I'm talking about the one who's been
a casual respectful friend for a year or two, never making overtures,
but then suddenly he becomes infected by dick pic fever.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Since this versification is labelled for my attention, I feel I should comment. Look at the animal world and you see mating rituals involving display. Males try to impress females. Since some females drool about the thought of being fucked by their sexy friends, or covertly sexy friends, a little flirting by the fair sex can quickly arouse their testosterone and excite them to display their wares. Think of the longing of some females for a BBC (=big black c**k for the ingenue). We white males can feel the need to compete. But what leaves one gal breathless can send another running for the 'block' option.
Maybe you should feel flattered that your longtime friends feel they'd like you to admire their equipment, like the queen inspecting a soldier's kit (as it were). They stand to attention out of habit and respect. Just tell them to drop their weapons and stand at ease.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I feel totally honored when an ordinarily sweet unassuming friend is struck with the urge to strut h.. read more



Reviews

oh my god, not only are you so funny margie, but you make it rhyme as well !!
i laughed my head off visualising all this.
i truly believe most of these dick pic blokes also stash their tiny brains in their baton, hence the constant need to flash their 'brains' ...come look at all my grey cells.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

It's happened to me often enuf for me to vouch for the way showing off one's rod seems to have an ad.. read more
lol this is hilarious. The new era parading dick picks to entice a female lmoa. What have we come to as a society? A funny poem Barleygirl, well written and so entertaining, the sad truth is, its based on your experiences. I am in disbelief! Can you imagine girls sending vagina pics! Hi this is me! Unbelievable!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I was just telling another reviewer that I have NEVER awoken any morning of my entire life, thinking.. read more
Lol
I love how your humor and wit skirts around many a topic.
So my advice to them is zip up and straighten up, don't be a dick and for goodness sakes don't send it out like a business card. Trust me I'd lay odds it's not your best feature.


Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I love your cool biting wisdom about most things in everyday life! *wink! wink!* Thanks for stopping.. read more
Don’t. Send. Me. Dick. Pics. I think it's juvenile and offensive. It shows me you don’t have an ounce of creativity in you at all. Outside of sexting, a dick pic is literally the worst thing you could send a woman second only to a picture of you having sex with your ex. Dick pics are offensive but the impulse behind them is just hilarious to me. I can’t help but picture the guy who sends it sitting there on his bed thinking ‘maybe she’ll sleep with me if I do this, maybe she’ll affirm me!’ No, you just made yourself look like a thirsty idiot. First guys stop opening doors for women then they send sleepy a*s pictures of their dicks. This is how civilization ends.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

This is such a great rant, it makes me kinda wish I'd gone for rant instead of humor! I also believe.. read more
Linda Marie Van Tassell

2 Weeks Ago

LOL! I don't understand the phenomenon truly. Another thing that I detest are the selfies that peo.. read more
Given how 'hung' up most men are on size, the best way to deal with such pics, is to send Samsung's 'microscope emoji' back. Guaranteed to stop 'em in their sleazy tracks. :))

Beccy.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

The microscope emoji is so good . . . I might have to render me an upcoming FB posting from that ide.. read more
As an amateur sociologist and psychologist, I find this proliferation of penis pics more disturbing than amusing. Your poem makes light of what’s sadly become a loss of decency in cyberspace. I’m still trying to determine if it’s arrogance, desperation, or mental illness. Maybe none of the three. Maybe something else. Please be assured you’ll never receive such pics from me. I’ve never been so indecent, so self-infatuated, or so damn stupid to do such a thing.

I admire not only your skill as a poet, but your ability to find in humor such things. I do wonder now why women don't send similar pics... Is this stupidity and indecency limited to men?



Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

This is such a superb response, it makes me less regretful that I hammered out such ridiculousness! .. read more
omg, hilarious. the inner child in us never fully goes away. whatever floats your boat. some even take pills to make it bigger - i guess they measure it too. i've even heard locker room/ bar talk about how long they can last - the woman can read a book or watch a movie whilst they thrust it in and out. whatever floats your boat. some people have way too much time on their hands (amongst other things). as a kid i remember people saying, "don't play with it or you'll go blind." when potting it, remember to use plenty of fertilizer. it surely takes all kinds. good, amusing, unexpected, off-the-beaten-path write ... :)

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

You just reminded me of a penis-size documentary called "Unhung Hero" -- this guy's gf turned down m.. read more
Pete

2 Weeks Ago

lol ... :)
Oh Margie if you are going to let monsters tickle yer bod, this is going to happen,, I do hope I haven't sent you the odd dick pic or two, because honestly my dick needs two pics, top and bottom, lol,

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Such are the pitfalls of unleashing my inner s**t! The 2-dick-pic comment is beyond hilarious! (((HU.. read more
gram linski

2 Weeks Ago

I nurture the inner s**t, in stockings and bow tie, gagged/ungagged, the choice is yours
ahahahah ... have to confess Barley ..... i have never been infected with such a bug! ... however, i find your sense of humor and sarcasm for the elevated male .......... ego .......... very funny .. as to all the rest .. irresistible .. a definite longing ... for en-longing ...eternal ... rock hard ... yeah ... all that .. having a chuckle at me self at my age seems to get more and more appropriate :))))))))))))))))))) what a jaunt down a lane i would not have thought ... great title .. always your fine rhyming and ....... a......rhythmic skills :)
E.
ps. reading your note .. can not help recall the Tony Boney Weiner scandals ... yes! sick and sleazy

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I forgot about Tony Weenie-Jerk! Just goes to show, I'm not making this stuff up! *wink! wink!* I gu.. read more
Einstein Noodle

2 Weeks Ago

i feel grateful me luv ... for laughter in me heart and on me face right now :)))))))))))))))))) hug.. read more
The internet is to blame for this.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

It's amazing how different people can be when they become drunk with anonymity, huh? Thanks for tryi.. read more

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

345 Views
20 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 31, 2019
Last Updated on October 31, 2019

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



About
Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..