Poetic Masturbation

Poetic Masturbation

A Poem by barleygirl
"

apology to friend I accused of "mental masturbation" . . .

"

On complex words I impale my fixation
with a mile-long boner of alliteration
nuances bubble in boundless gestation
did he really call this poetic masturbation?

Submitting to a cerebral examination
one might see my synapse assassination
a robust case of whimsical insemination
a vigorous whack needs no justification.

Faulted a friend for mental masturbation
penning a poem of cryptic communication
perched on my pedestal of self-gratification
now I see all poetry as hedonist prostration.

Words beamed down from a space station
may require a reader’s radical adaptation
even if whacking to a singular vibration
all word lovers do poetic masturbation.

© 2020 barleygirl


Author's Note

barleygirl
A friend complained that reviewers described his poetry as "poetic masturbation" . . . which brought to mind how I'd told a different friend his poetry was "mental masturbation" . . . which suddenly seemed bizarre & hilarious, becuz we all do this to make ourselves feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Review

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Featured Review

my problem is I rarely ever reach climax (but I was never offended by that statement it actually made me laugh when you said that to me (and yes my pencil did shrink) but sometimes I do get to heady and lose the expression) Speaking of pencils when I was a teenager I always asked my foreign friends to teach me the phrase "I have a small pencil" in there given languages... invariably they would teach me, but not without asking me why afterwards. I always responded that its important to have a useful "catch all" phrase should I get to visit there home country.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I'm so sorry you never climax, but who else can brag about his mile-long boner of alliteration? (yes.. read more



Reviews

I sheepishly feel like a lost Lamb in meadows of discovery... where
violets and buttercups grow and movements of orchestrated melodies
are played with gusto...where is the little boy blue... he's in the Haystack fast asleep.
At an advanced age, can I really get away with anything. Thanks for being my
advocate. truly, Pat

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I know exactly what you mean & I'm also milking it for all its worth! I spent 30+ years being logica.. read more
I did like these words dear Margie. Some of us must read and we must write. It is in our blood. Always a pleasure to read your words. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

I've gotten to the point where I'll stop whatever I'm doing & write . . . never used to do that in m.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Week Ago

I need to write and to read. You are welcome dear Margie.
some people just can't enough of it. trouble is you can go blind from doing it. very clever synopsis. i wonder if anyone has actually done that whilst reading a poem as opposed to looking at porn. whatever floats your boat i guess. a good poem builds until it reaches a climax. not a bad way to blow a load ... :)

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

This is a funny way to respond to this poem! Now that we're all flying solo these days (supposedly) .. read more
Margie - sure we do! Still it doesn't beat the real thing, better yet a real sexual tryst. Oh well!
Take care - Dave

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dave

1 Week Ago

Where oh where Can I find your book? I could use a good bit of provocation. Take care - "Biddy" -.. read more
barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Go to Amazon & search on Paraiso Escondido . . . it's about 350 pages of constant titillation, but n.. read more
Dave

1 Week Ago

GREAT!!! I can use or abuse titillation. Cunnilingus - one of my favorite sports -"wink" "wink", .. read more
you write such fun & witty poetry margie.
i love the expression poetic masturbation!!!!!!
your rhyme & all the words ending in 'ion' ..... are very clever, i love it. 👍
stay covid 19 free
cheerio carola

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thanks for your enthusiastic review! Everything is unchanged here in the boondocks, but sorry to see.. read more
nothing wrong with a little poetic masturbation, mental or otherwise, your poem has got me thinking and laughing on this dreich day, nice one Margie,

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

gram linski

1 Week Ago

Is Pat a friend?, is she pissed, what the f**k she on about, lol,
barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Pat & I are a couple of fluttering ole biddies, a wee bit rambling in the cerebellum at times, perha.. read more
gram linski

1 Week Ago

indulge, indulge, haha, catch you on the tip of my fingers some time,
Ha ha Margie, you generated a wide smile with this poem on a lovely blue sky forget about the other stuff morning. I am guilty too. A self confessed poetic and mental masturbator rarely reaching a climax in my old age :)) Have a good day my friend.

Chris

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Sometimes I'm having so much fun writing, I never think about the poor fools who try to trudge thru .. read more
Indeed. It can be taken in so many different contexts.
love the geniality behind it.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

When I started here 5 years ago, I had a strict idea of what poetry was . . . now my mind has been o.. read more
Intothemilkyway

1 Week Ago

That's amazing to hear. Kiss and hugs to you too dear
I can come to terms with "poetic masturbation," but "mile long boner?" Not even Johnny Wadd or Long Dong Silver could claim that.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thanks for my first belly-laugh on a frosty morn! Spring is sluggish here this year! (((HUGS))) Fond.. read more
just like doing something similar in the shower...those who deny they do...are telling little white lies...
Some of the best poetic experiences i have had, i've been alone.
j.

Posted 1 Week Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

The ones who claim to scream in agony as they push that pen along, those are the ones most suspect t.. read more
Neville

1 Week Ago

just between us three Jacob and Margie & for the record, I have never s*** in the shower :)

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13 Reviews
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Added on March 25, 2020
Last Updated on March 25, 2020

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



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Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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