How Hot?

How Hot?

A Story by barleygirl
"

just finished a small heat wave . . . or it finished me!

"

These last 3 days were the hottest I remember in Arroyo Seco in the last ten years that I’ve lived here . . . it was 114*F (45*C) outside and 100*F (38*C) inside for many hours each day and it didn’t cool down much at night.

It was so hot, when my dogs went out to piss, it hissed away into an evaporative poof before a girl could finish her squirting.

It was so hot, plant leaves stayed wilted despite being well-watered.

It was so hot, instead of buzzing lightly onto the skin, flies dripped out of the air like bird splats, blotting and blending into my sweat rivulets.

The Dolan fire spilled pinkish-gray smoke drifts over the ridge from Big Sur to blot out the sun and ooze like fiery lava across the sky, but the steady smoke stream didn’t lessen the sun’s intensity one whit.

Barely existing in front of the fan, no need for a spray bottle since dog-snot sneezes basted my steaming naked carcass like a rosy roasted ham.

It was so hot, buzzards circled overhead waiting for sizzling varmints to fry.

My only appetite was to slurp cool, crunchy cucumbers fresh from the garden.

This holiday weekend was delightfully quiet (a rare treat) since humans were not moving a muscle and birds could find nothing to chirp about.

© 2020 barleygirl


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Featured Review

Oh, but you had it easy! Now, when I lived in ... oh, you don't want to hear it. Seriously, though, that is awful hot for that part of the state. I'm inclined to strip down right now and slice up some cucumbers.

Okay, I can't resist spinning just one yarn. One day on the flight line, a temperature of 130 F was recorded in the shade of a Buckeye's wing. (That's an airplane) That was during flight ops, of course, when we had the equivalent of 14 huge hair dryers blasting away. I wanted to get nekid, but feared burning my willy off. Now gimme some of them cukes.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

This is a great story! I didn't know getting your cahones torched is the secret to blasting off your.. read more



Reviews

suddenly that seat on your porch doesn't sound all too appealing unless its the blistery skin kind of peeling oh how horrible and how it must be so prevalent in your mind... the travesty of the environment I used to get pissed at god and shake my hand at the sky for how hot its been each year getting worse but then suddenly I am shaking my fist at myself knowing im part of the blame just like racism just like the state of our union we all have a passive complicity and we must make changes it isn't a matter of time its a matter of fact what days we are living in

Posted 1 Week Ago


We had some 45 deg days Plus last summer too I’m a summer girl but these summers the world are getting are outright ridiculous lol
I love cueys. Pronounced queue ...ease as my father would say I think he grew them. “Want a cuey “

I especially love your verse re dog snot


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

We've had two pretty mild summers here. The very hot stretches last a week or less, so it's not too .. read more
This sounds almost apocalyptic, Margie. I have never experienced this kind of heat before. Not sure my European skin could handle it. You have painted the scene with wit and whimsy despite the obvious discomfort the conditions have caused you. I feel so sorry for those furry friends in such heat. There is only so much panting they can do to keep cool. At least the silence gave you some comfort. The last thing you need is to be annoyed by pesky people when you are sweating like this. Stay safe and keep cool!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thankfully, our heat waves are usually under a week long! Now we're back to cool autumn weather, so .. read more
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Gee
Usually when it's that hot a bird is getting onions wedged up its arse and thrown into an oven. Hope that didn't happen to you Margie :))
Glad you are safe and well and your sense of humour has remained on high alert

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

You've hit on the marvel of it all -- as everyone else gripes about how horrible 2020 has been, how .. read more
Gee

2 Weeks Ago

3 of the happiest working months of my life were March, April, May, when the majority of constructio.. read more
I can relate to this poem very well as It reads like a scorching Indian summer when we go up to 47°C here. Everything burns and we can't go out on the terrace barefoot or else we'll burn the skin off our soles. The little squirrels out there scamper around in sheer agony and the water in taps is steaming boiling. I could go on and on, inspired by this finely descriptive poem! Could just feel that heat! I hope it cools down soon.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Every time I think it's hot here, I do think of you folks in India! The only other place that's usua.. read more
Dhara_Ditzy Kat

2 Weeks Ago

You're welcome dear Margie! Stay cool and relish those lovely cucumbers! HUGS!
hi it has been so long and thanks for this story i feel i am being entertained though not by the hot weather but by nature as a whole the beauty that surrounds us needs to be appreciated

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Yeah! Good to see you back here. I'll go check you out in a bit. I agree . . . the heat is a b***h t.. read more
It sounds like one of those days when if you see a dog chasing a cat, they're both walking. I just can't imagine 114 degrees. On the other hand, I know what you're doing to deal with it. Sincerely hope the weather breaks in your favor soon.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

I trimmed all my pot plants just before the heat wave, which encourages bud growth for an end-of-sea.. read more
Oh my god, it never gets that hot here and already it's cold out.
I think I would just sleep through it. Heat makes me lazy.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Heat makes me sleepy, but when it's THIS hot, I can't sleep at all! Finally the heat is over but now.. read more
Had this image of trumpy breathing hard in your backyard. I take it the fires have subsided and it's just the sunshine causing problems now. Any consolation, it's pissing down here. Buzzards have either been blown away or drowned in rain. I take it, it does rain now and again in your backyard.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

Sadly, the fires rage on. I posted a new update this morning! I'm fine here, but still in a slightly.. read more
Paul Bell

2 Weeks Ago

This is turning into one brutal election. You stay safe.
Oh, but you had it easy! Now, when I lived in ... oh, you don't want to hear it. Seriously, though, that is awful hot for that part of the state. I'm inclined to strip down right now and slice up some cucumbers.

Okay, I can't resist spinning just one yarn. One day on the flight line, a temperature of 130 F was recorded in the shade of a Buckeye's wing. (That's an airplane) That was during flight ops, of course, when we had the equivalent of 14 huge hair dryers blasting away. I wanted to get nekid, but feared burning my willy off. Now gimme some of them cukes.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

2 Weeks Ago

This is a great story! I didn't know getting your cahones torched is the secret to blasting off your.. read more

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134 Views
10 Reviews
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Added on September 8, 2020
Last Updated on September 8, 2020

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



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Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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