Brad and Sally

collaboration with Paul Bell . . .

My gawd, red bra, orange pants, and green socks, I’m making love to a traffic light.

Better move before the signal turns red.

I can’t, where do I start.

Let out the clutch, nice and easy.

It matters a lot, if I start with your bra, do I stop, or do I drive on knowing three penalty points and an eighty-pound fine are coming my way. Do I start with your pants, amber gambling, if I start with your socks, then that’s it, I’m away.

Your fine package won’t incur a fine. Promise.

I expect you to dress appropriately for the occasion, I mean, Gok Wan couldn’t fix you.

You put your pedal in a mettle with those leopard-print skinny jeans.

Oh gawd, did you really say that, I’m going out with a moron, 0.5 wit.

I may be a dimwit, but at least I’m not a dipshit.

More likely, you’re a halfwit!

Hey! I almost showed up in nothing but my raincoat.

Just what every guy dreams of, a drippy muff in a raincoat.

Most guys would cream the minute I peel away my raincoat dream.

Now I’ve got this fantasy in my head: put on an orange hat, and wow, pelican crossing!

Get knotted, and I tell you now, that’ll be the only downpour you’ll feel tonight!

I’ll just conjure a horny hallucination that beats your humdrum seductions any day.

His fine package tucked into tight leopard-print: her horny dream (but she’ll never tell).
You know, you could still drive, if you haven’t already crossed the line.

Opening his eyes quickly, he tries to catch her in a lie. He considers it...
Okay, lose the fire engine bra and broccoli socks.

Lose the leopard-skin skinnies, my friend.

Meeting halfway, standing by the hearth, one more naked than the other . . .
I’m still a little miffed, but hang on while I manhandle your member.

He stubbornly gazes at the ceiling, feigning boredom . . .
Oh, is that you pestering my pole? So, my leopard skins did the trick!

She slaps his face, hurls an enraged shriek, and stomps towards the door . . .
Let go of my bra and socks. I’m outa here.

He’s gone too far, but she’s all up and running, so he gives chase . . .
How ‘bout you tie me to the bed with your fire engine bra and broccoli socks?

BAM goes the door.

She'll call.

Reviews

[T.S. Ulmus]

You managed to give me literary blue balls, you teased and built up to a fiery passion, I was so excited for the payoff. It's brilliantly writ of course. And yeah, she'll call. The opening metaphor is very clever, then matching "80 pound fine" with "your fine package" is a move not many writers could make. You always impress me.

[barleygirl]

Thank you for always making me feel ten feet tall & bulletproof! *smile* I have to admit, Paul laid down the tracks & I just tossed in some flourish. Fondly, Margie

[T.S. Ulmus]

I love your flourish

[Robert Trakofler]

Margie your Dirty I won't even mention that paul fellow:/

[barleygirl]

If your bathroom was a constant 40* in winter & your shower stream was a piddly drip like mine, you'd be dirty too *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Robert Trakofler]

Yikes maybe a nice boiling hot washtub on the deck with some nice wine and a sunset

[barleygirl]

You're SUCH a tease! That would be heaven!

[Tepo]

Brad eh
Sounds like you went a couple of rounds with Rod Stewart
Was a great read
Getting through all those obstacles for a slap
Didn't think would end well
Too much Amber and red on the road
Lightened my mood
Ta for that

[barleygirl]

Clever response! I love the Rod Steward connection & all the amber/red reflecting on pavement. Thanks for stopping by (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

Aw, Sally! Great job. Only thing is, you never called back.
Fire engine bra and broccoli socks, you just know that's going to hit the Paris catwalk this summer.
Nice working with you.

[barleygirl]

My phone is unplugged. All I get are junk calls (inside) & bird calls (outside). I love the fashion statement of red-and-green, which will appeal to the Hispanics here, with their love of the Mexican flag! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

Already a new market. lol

[Neville]

............ Well done the pair of ya ... it aint often I feel like a voyeur ... normally I just do it without thinking ... I reckon its the greens that do it, there being more un just one of em .. and talk about larf (GRINS) fondly, Neville

[barleygirl]

This was an unexpected invite & I'm glad I took it up! We had fun with no chafing! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Patricia]

Now that’s freaking awesome and brilliant just brilliant!!!! I read it twice! I truly loved it! I could hear the drawl in my ears and the sarcasm is funny and I am a big fan of sarcasm when it’s funny. Geeze you really are a good writer

[barleygirl]

Thank you for this glowing review! I've tried to emulate Paul's way of presenting a story using just dialogue, but I can't convey his uniquely flippant way of addressing the awkward dance of mating. To have Paul start out this piece & invite me to pump up the female parts a bit, I was able to engage my flippancy up against his & it was fun! Thanks for a great review (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie