Brad and Sally

Brad and Sally

A Poem by barleygirl
"

collaboration with Paul Bell . . .

"

My gawd, red bra, orange pants, and green socks, I’m making love to a traffic light.

Better move before the signal turns red.

I can’t, where do I start.

Let out the clutch, nice and easy.

It matters a lot, if I start with your bra, do I stop, or do I drive on knowing three penalty points and an eighty-pound fine are coming my way. Do I start with your pants, amber gambling, if I start with your socks, then that’s it, I’m away.

Your fine package won’t incur a fine. Promise.

I expect you to dress appropriately for the occasion, I mean, Gok Wan couldn’t fix you.

You put your pedal in a mettle with those leopard-print skinny jeans.

Oh gawd, did you really say that, I’m going out with a moron, 0.5 wit.

I may be a dimwit, but at least I’m not a dipshit.

More likely, you’re a halfwit!

Hey! I almost showed up in nothing but my raincoat.

Just what every guy dreams of, a drippy muff in a raincoat.

Most guys would cream the minute I peel away my raincoat dream.

Now I’ve got this fantasy in my head: put on an orange hat, and wow, pelican crossing!

Get knotted, and I tell you now, that’ll be the only downpour you’ll feel tonight!

I’ll just conjure a horny hallucination that beats your humdrum seductions any day.

His fine package tucked into tight leopard-print: her horny dream (but she’ll never tell).
You know, you could still drive, if you haven’t already crossed the line.

Opening his eyes quickly, he tries to catch her in a lie. He considers it...
Okay, lose the fire engine bra and broccoli socks.

Lose the leopard-skin skinnies, my friend.

Meeting halfway, standing by the hearth, one more naked than the other . . .
I’m still a little miffed, but hang on while I manhandle your member.

He stubbornly gazes at the ceiling, feigning boredom . . .
Oh, is that you pestering my pole? So, my leopard skins did the trick!

She slaps his face, hurls an enraged shriek, and stomps towards the door . . .
Let go of my bra and socks. I’m outa here.


He’s gone too far, but she’s all up and running, so he gives chase . . .
How ‘bout you tie me to the bed with your fire engine bra and broccoli socks?

BAM goes the door.

She'll call.

© 2021 barleygirl


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Featured Review

You managed to give me literary blue balls, you teased and built up to a fiery passion, I was so excited for the payoff. It's brilliantly writ of course. And yeah, she'll call. The opening metaphor is very clever, then matching "80 pound fine" with "your fine package" is a move not many writers could make. You always impress me.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thank you for always making me feel ten feet tall & bulletproof! *smile* I have to admit, Paul laid .. read more
T.S. Ulmus

1 Week Ago

I love your flourish


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Reviews

Margie your Dirty I won't even mention that paul fellow:/

Posted 5 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

7 Hours Ago

If your bathroom was a constant 40* in winter & your shower stream was a piddly drip like mine, you'.. read more
Robert Trakofler

1 Hour Ago

Yikes maybe a nice boiling hot washtub on the deck with some nice wine and a sunset
barleygirl

47 Minutes Ago

You're SUCH a tease! That would be heaven!
Brad eh
Sounds like you went a couple of rounds with Rod Stewart
Was a great read
Getting through all those obstacles for a slap
Didn't think would end well
Too much Amber and red on the road
Lightened my mood
Ta for that


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Days Ago

Clever response! I love the Rod Steward connection & all the amber/red reflecting on pavement. Thank.. read more
Aw, Sally! Great job. Only thing is, you never called back.
Fire engine bra and broccoli socks, you just know that's going to hit the Paris catwalk this summer.
Nice working with you.



Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Days Ago

My phone is unplugged. All I get are junk calls (inside) & bird calls (outside). I love the fashion .. read more
Paul Bell

5 Days Ago

Already a new market. lol


............ Well done the pair of ya ... it aint often I feel like a voyeur ... normally I just do it without thinking ... I reckon its the greens that do it, there being more un just one of em .. and talk about larf (GRINS) fondly, Neville


Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

5 Days Ago

This was an unexpected invite & I'm glad I took it up! We had fun with no chafing! *wink! wink!* Fon.. read more
You managed to give me literary blue balls, you teased and built up to a fiery passion, I was so excited for the payoff. It's brilliantly writ of course. And yeah, she'll call. The opening metaphor is very clever, then matching "80 pound fine" with "your fine package" is a move not many writers could make. You always impress me.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thank you for always making me feel ten feet tall & bulletproof! *smile* I have to admit, Paul laid .. read more
T.S. Ulmus

1 Week Ago

I love your flourish
Now that’s freaking awesome and brilliant just brilliant!!!! I read it twice! I truly loved it! I could hear the drawl in my ears and the sarcasm is funny and I am a big fan of sarcasm when it’s funny. Geeze you really are a good writer

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thank you for this glowing review! I've tried to emulate Paul's way of presenting a story using just.. read more

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Added on January 13, 2021
Last Updated on January 13, 2021

Author

barleygirl
barleygirl

Central Coast, CA



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Just loving life & sharing my blessings. more..

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