Fading away...

just a snippet of the visuals i see...the moment my eyes shut, drifting me away from all that there be. just a nightmare or my dark reality????

You walk into a room with darkness all around...
i lay unconscious, numb, dirty on the ground...
my lips all stitched...
my body all ripped...
cuts and bruises bleeding...
in silence; voices screaming...
you see nothing, but can hear them all...
with desperate nail marks on the wall...

violent screams fill the room...
sarcastic laughter amongst the gloom...
shadowy figures here and there...
mocking eyes with a stony stare...

i still lay numb, all cold with fear...
my body shudders with utmost despair...
voices grow louder, tormenting me...
tears of blood flowing free...

i try to move, but all in vain...
a spasm within and searing pain...
i stretch out for help to save my existence...
the darkness engulfs me
i fade away into obsolescence...

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

try to move, but all in vain...
a spasm within and searing pain...
i stretch out for help to save my existence...
the darkness engulfs me
i fade away into obsolescence...


An intense and powerful piece describing how nightmares

certainly can put one in freeze frame~ no way to escape them

you capture this frightning feeling of being trap within its darkness

with vivid decriptives so very well written! Superb Pen!

[funeralmoon]

oh god this is good very very good.. i love poetry like this great job.. :)

[lost inside]

This is s dark write but love it
I do enjoy your wonderful talent.
You know how to write a poem.
Well written and expressed.

[Stephanie]

That's pretty intense. Was this like, the aftermath of a torture scene as you lie there in pain? Because that's heavy....but good all the same! It made me imagine the scene, the despair. Great imagery. Super good work :)

[quill of shadows]

i like it ty for submiting to my contest

[Fredrick Malkyor]

Dear Barricade,

Excellent! I can feel the insanity just bursting out of this character. This piece is absolutly 'inspiring'.
All the traits was there. The screaming, the laughter, the cries, everything. I can't put anymore words to what I think of this. Keep up the great work.

Your Friend,


Fredrick Malkyor

[♡Moon Child♡..]

Oh wow...that poem was a little scary and very sad. I can see that what you are going though is hard...I wish I could help.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I very often dreams like this, so I can really relate myself to this piece...
"i try to move, but all in vain..." - This is surely a very strong line with such a vivid description.
Great work :)

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I very often dreams like this, so I can really relate myself to this piece...
"i try to move, but all in vain..." - This is surely a very strong line with such a vivid description.
Great work :)