The Fourth Pig

The Fourth Pig

A Story by bba
"

"Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!"

"

Christy Swineherd waited in front of the Sticks and Stones Condominium on the busy street of McKinley Road for the client, one Mr. Adam Wolfe, to view one of her luxury suites upstairs.

Christy’s family had been in the real estate business since her great-great-grandfather migrated to the city two centuries ago. Being the latest heir to the Sticks and Stones Housing Corporation, she took control of the business the moment she graduated from business school and so would her child, should she ever decide to have one, take over the business from her. Christy had not thought of settling down, not when she was enjoying being at the highest peak of her career. She was driven, and success was her white powder.

The condominium stood like the face of a sleeping robot towering over the old buildings on McKinley road. Its metallic color and reflectorized windows were a revelation of modern art. The auto-recycling water plumbing and the solar panels made the Sticks and Stones Condominium one of the most power-efficient and environmentally-friendly buildings in the city. It also had three level basement parking lot, a basketball court and a swimming pool on the roof deck, and a hanging garden on the east wall.

It was nearly lunchtime, but Christy was not hungry. She needed to close this last deal of the morning before she could think of anything else. Lunch could wait.

 

A white Lincoln pulled up in front of the building, and Mr. Adam Wolfe stepped out, wearing a brown suit with matching brown tie and brown leather shoes. Round, brown-colored sunglasses, like the ones Lennon was known to wear, rested steadily on his long nose. He was tall, and Christy wondered if he ever played professional basketball. His long stern face, arched eyebrows, and thin lips made him look arrogant and impatient. But the moment he cracked a big smile that revealed his perfect white teeth and reached out to shake hands with Christy, she knew that he only had his game face on.

“Mr. Wolfe,” Christy said as they shook hands. “I’m glad we finally met.”

“How do you do, Ms. Swineherd? Please, call me Adam,” he said, running his long fingers along his slicked-back hair.

“All right, Adam. Call me Christy, then.”

“Very well, Christy. Lead the way.”

They entered the Sticks and Stones Condominium, the glass sliding doors automatically closed behind them, and they walked down the white marble hallway to the elevator.

 

The penthouse occupied half of the seventy-fourth floor of the building. The other half, Christy pointed out, was bought by a Chinese businessman, the owner of the largest mall in the city.

“I really shouldn’t be telling you this,” Christy said as she gave details of the next-door owner. “They are a very private family. But since you would be living here, you might as well know the neighbors.”

Adam gave a noncommittal nod.

 

The red oak door opened silently as Christy and Adam entered the service corridor. A crystal chandelier hung on the high ceiling. The black marble floor was buffed like mirrors. The unit was unfurnished except for the kitchen, according to Christy. Fixtures would be placed according to Adam’s specifications when he signed the contract.

The service corridor had three doors. Across from the entry was the coat closet. On the right was the fire exit rigged with a burglar alarm. The door was connected to the security mainframe and monitored twenty-four seven. The left passage led to the octagon-shaped foyer, which opened into the grand salon.

The grand salon was walled with two windows that gave a ninety-degree view of the city below. Christy walked towards the large windows and urged Adam to give them a hard knock. The window gave a soft muffled sound. They were laminated safety glass, according to Christy, a standard in the building.

Christy next led Adam to the kitchen. The floor between the grand foyer and the kitchen was gray, a clever transition from the black marble floor to the white marble floor of the kitchen. The kitchen was lined with stainless steel cabinets finished with granite countertops. The oven and the sink were berthed in a center island. The two-door fridge stood on the right like a pagan statue waiting for its offerings.

The unit had four rooms: the master bedroom which had his and hers wardrobe cabinets and a large bathtub; two bedrooms side-by-side on the far right corner of the unit; and a guest suite at the end of the hallway connecting to the foyer.

 

Christy and Adam moved to the master bedroom. Adam walked to the large window and looked down at the street; his white Lincoln was still waiting on the curb.

“So, what do you think?”

“This is a wonderful place,” Adam said, still looking down out the window. Christy watched him intently, knowing that this was a done deal.

Adam reached for his pocket and brought out a pack of cigarettes.

“Mind if I smoke?”

“Not at all,” Christy said, waving her hand. The truth was she did mind.

Adam took a long hard drag and suspended his arm at his side. He puffed the blue smoke towards the glass window.

“So, Adam, when do you want to settle in? Of course, it would only take a few days, less than a week maybe, to bring in the fixtures.

“I have a catalogue right here of the best interior designers in the city, if you want to see. Or maybe you prefer a design you had in mind.”

Adam stared at Christy, took another drag and puffed, sending the smoke up to his head. Christy smile at him, revealing the dimples on her pink cheeks.

“Actually, Christy,” he said, placing his large hand on Christy’s left shoulder, “I’m not interested in the unit. What I’m interested in,” he paused and touched her nose with his middle finger, the cigarette barely clinging between his fingers, “is you.”

Christy jerked her head as the blue smoke went to her face. She tried to move away from Adam, but his strong grip stayed her in place.

“What? Get your hands off me! You’re hurting me!” she shouted.

Adam grinned and pulled Christy close to him.

Christy screamed but soon went silent as Mr. Adam Wolfe ate her face.

 


The End

© 2011 bba


Author's Note

bba
This is an old story I've written three years ago in an attempt to re-write/re-tell (or take a concept out of) a fairy tale.

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Featured Review

"Sticks and Stones Condominium" - good name - sets up right away that this is going to be a reworking of a familiar tale
"great-great grandfather" - hyphenate all
comma after "She was driven"
"The Sticks and Stones Condominium stood like..." - You don't need to use its full name every time. Try just "The condominium" here.
"an epiphany of modern art" - not sure "epiphany" is the right word - Did you mean that it's a revelation of modern art? (that's what epiphany means)
comma after "nearly lunchtime"
comma after "in front of the building"
comma after "Round"
"a towering 5’7”." - "a towering five-foot-seven" (You do know that this is several inches above average for a woman, right? I'm not sure if you intended "towering" as ironic or not.)
delete "with his height"
"no patience dealing with a no-nonsense person" - confusing - He doesn't have patience with no-nonsense people?? Does that mean he prefers those who waste time and aren't direct?
"he said waving away"- comma after "said"
"All right" - hurrah! someone who doesn't type it as "alright"! You make my proofreader-self happy
comma after "Call me Christy"
"Christy said, as she gave" - no comma
"next door owner." "next-door owner"
comma after "be living here"
new paragraph for "Adam gave a noncommittal nod"
no comma after "unfurnished"
The details of the condo work here - just the sort of thing that Christy herself would be pointing out to Adam, but done as narration instead of dialogue.
"were berthed a center island"- "were berthed in a center island"
No apostrophe before "fridge"
"like a pagan statue waiting for its offerings" - good image
"to the master bedroom. The master bedroom faced" - "to the master bedroom. It faced"
"Christy said waving" - comma after "said"
"took another drag and puffed" - The "Three Little Pigs" elements are subtle, but they're all here.
"he said placing" - comma after "said"
comma, not period, after "left shoulder"
comma after "away from Adam"
Have to say that I was not expecting the ending. I knew that Adam was after Christy, but I wasn't expecting the "wolf" action to be so literal.


Posted 8 Years Ago


7 of 7 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Your story displays an excellent writing style, with good scene depiction and characterization. It feels like a serious story, except for the obvious pig-related references. I like plot twists and cheap endings, but you ask the reader to invest too much time and mental effort in some of the details, such as the floor colors and technical specifications for windows, making me wonder if you are an architect or designer. Anyway, your flair for story telling and ability to write is above average, hence way above mine.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Loved your Mr wolfe description, the John Lennon glasses made me laugh.

...she knew that he only had his game face on. ..Mischievous and deftly done!

Liked the pagan statued fride!

...he paused and touched her nose with his middle finger...ooh menacing.

Brilliant. Wish I had a penthouse like that.

Shame about Christy!

Loved it. Thanks.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Totally love the little pig theme! Mr. Wolfe and Ms. Swineherd is very clever. I really enjoyed the subtle little pig nuances. Honestly, the ending was a bit disappointing. I was hoping for so much more. Very good story though!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


i like your take on the great fairy tale. very creative. i really like your style of writing. i especially like the last line, as mr. adam wolfe ate her face.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Oh wow. That was. Rather interesting. I wasn't expecting it at all. It was a nice write though. You did a good job on it! I enjoyed reading it for sure.

Posted 8 Years Ago


yes ...more creative names would seem more your style to Me...excellent write and descriptions...

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

You write very well. I thnk the ending let you down as it was a bit of a giveaway when you named the chap Mr. Wolfe. I was hoping that you were going to twist the twist as it were. There is a writing talent here, push yourself.
ATB
Alex.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is a very clever twist on The Three Pigs! i love the modern relation between real estate and the original story, a perfect flow. the characters are well set up, but perhaps with Christy's character not too much background. we know all about her, but we only know the external of Mr. Wolfe-- it puts some things off balance. I think that the condo's description was really good, but over the top. you just described the place, then cut almost straight to the brief ending. i think a build-up between the characters to the finale would have been better and make the story flow smoothly. still different and unlike other stories i've seen!

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Very well done. An interesting twist to the tale.

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 3 people found this review constructive.

I thought it was good and twisted.

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 4 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 15, 2011
Last Updated on January 23, 2011
Tags: Flash Fiction, Three Little Pigs, Condominium, Fairy Tale, Nursery Rhyme, Brian Ayson, I really don't know how to tag m

Author

bba
bba

Philippines



About
I write short stories mostly, somewhere within the realms of horror, fantasy, drama, dark fantasy. Please feel free to read and write a quick review of what you think of my stories. Any comments gr.. more..

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