Die Away the Day

Awaken.

Practice hard.

Reap just rewards.

Pretend some happiness.

Shatter glass-bound poisons.

Fear the diving hawk that seeks.

Shift joy and peace toward the killers.

Give in to the mist that darkens the mirror.

Crumble in moss and dream away the hours.

Destroy rough-worn hope scorching from within.

Sever hair that promotes meek insubstantial illusion.

Deny the traitor's petty addiction thus outing bitter cause.

Battle moral menace in the shadow of the rampaging tempest.

Sear traitors with cinder rains rolling down hills unencumbered.

Refuse empty offers stated aside under long lashes hiding petty lies.

Quit the broken heart swaddled in thin paper abandoned at death’s gate.

Die away the day in withered continence thus hoping for something greater.

Author's Note

This is a shape poem rising in crescendo. It is in abstract form and the reader can draw what meaning as they may. For me, it is about "awakening" to cancer and finding ways to live with it. Each line can be translated from abstract to literal.

Reviews

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

A truly meticulous write. Traveling through it it was like being on a journey of knowledge acquirement, a journey symbolizing life itself and its wisdom, piled in a triangle, which can also relate to pure knowledge and wisdom with an eye inside beyond human life. Which is also a pyramid,
It is an intellectual achievement and things we find along the journey cannot be easily understood by others and usually they are taken for granted, they cannot be transmitted to others, everyone must walk through that lonesome valley by himself.

[BLBrown]

You are correct that not everyone gets it. Either they love it or are completely lost. But that's okay. Steinbeck loses me quite frequently. I believe the art of writing comes not in what was written, but in the act, the experience, itself. It is the how, not the what, yet that is what we as poets are left to share.

I'm very glad you like this poem and appreciate you taking the time to read it!

[Sheila Kline]

Barbara!
So glad you edited this piece so I could see the edit entered on my home page as I had missed this and I absolutely love CRESCENDO pieces! You have done an excellent job with form, but most of all with your hard hitting, knock me down comments.....WOW, OH WOW is all I can think of to say!!! The line "SHIFT joy and peace toward the killers" is among my favorite, but SHATTER glass-bound poisons" is a close second.
A terrific write from one who obviously feels every word of it!!
This is going in my favorites file!

[BLBrown]

Good to hear from you my friend!! I'm glad you enjoyed this poem. It was sort of a stream of consciousness exercise. I wrote the first four lines, then realized I was on a shape path to, as you aptly put it, rising crescendo. Sometimes "art by accident" can be the best thing.

You are too kind with your compliments as always.

[MOON]

You created this lovely form but such a concrete form and poignant words and thoughts . Lovely write.

[The Scholar]

This is incredibly, stunning poetry. Well built concrete poem, and brimming with thought.
Each line is perfect on its own.
To awaken, to live, to eventually die.
It's a walk through life beautifully put.

[Leslie Philibert]

I really like concrete poetry, and this is not only ( obviously !) written with care, but the content is logical and full of lyrical thought, good writing

[marytownsend]

Love the flow of this poem, and the imagery is fantastic!! Great writing!!

[Patrick]

there is great authority about this piece of writing and the layout creates a crescendo. :)

[ROSALIND]

I like this I felt upset until I read your poem ..outstanding ......
I wish I could write like this

[Legion]

I like the form in this and the whirlwind message that it gives. So many thoughts within colliding and absorbing. Well done though it be filled with sadness and disillusionment.