upheaval

a prose letter write to my friend, elusive.

To the boy in the picture, 

I wish that I could know you. I wish that the camera flash that made your green eyes grey was enough to tint the world in shades of black and white, so that hurt could be separated from our lives in a way that left no jagged edges. Until then, I will stand by you, weaving your pain into your story because I don't know how to pull it away without unraveling who you are. Meeting you makes me wish I had paid attention when my grandmother was knitting scarves... maybe if I had, I would understand how to unwind the threads that make up your life's stories. But alas, I am no more a knitter than a carpenter, and the wooden dog houses I make wouldn't even hold up in a gentle breeze. 

However, I will build you a box, my elusive friend, with sanded sides full of beautiful knots because they remind me of you -- twisted and perfect. I wish life was fair, but then how would anyone learn how to truly live? Because each time we fall makes us stronger, but I will stand beside you until you can run on your own. I will hold you up, be your strength in my evening so your afternoon sun can show the smile you can give to the world. I sit behind a screen, reading your words from a world away and hoping that you'll hear me when I call out to you. Maybe.. maybe you could shout back, and your jumbled voice would shake loose from the clouds when it rained... I would sit in a circle, do a pow wow and a rain dance so I could sense you in the skies. 

You, whose real name I would write but I know how much it means to keep it quiet,

do you ever close your eyes and listen? Just lean back and let the world flow over you? Take measured breaths between moments of solitude and secrecy? Or are your thoughts too loud to sit in silence?

Perhaps you fight through the times of hardship, like you always do. Maybe you punch through those walls that pop up in front of you because when they're full of holes it's so much easier to see what's on the other side...

and if you fall... 

I will lift you up again.

I will hoist up your burden on my shoulders, ignore your protests because I'm stubborn, a little stinky wisel stien inside joke of an Aquarius who will always look out for you. And we will butt heads together, you and your Capricorn determination and Australian lingo against my baby blue eyes that are actually brown and green in a hazel swirl of color, but I said that they were blue because of you. Because I sneak little snippets of ourselves into my words and I know that that line will make you smile. 

Are you smiling, elusive? Because that's my goal every time I talk to you. I want to make you smile, to show you love when you can't feel it for yourself and to make your eyes light up with that laugh I can only hear in my mind.

I'm so sorry, you ex-pirate you... I wish I could take away the hurt that is woven within your laughter and hidden behind your smile. You are beautiful, my friend, and I don't know why you don't believe me. However, I will tell you, over and over until you do; shout it from the mountains and the rooftops if I have to, because I believe in you. 

You're a fighter, good sir, and I will stay by your side at the head of the pack, carry you on my back when you lack the strength to run and pick you up when you're just about to fall. 

We can do this together, my green-gray eyed friend, watching silly cat videos in the stars and going fishing for the moon. Us, a rag tag team of one guy and one girl on two different sides of the world, connected only through movements on a keyboard. Together, our stories will stand strong and lead the way to our futures, past all the pain and heartache and hardship, through valleys of inspiration and tears so deep it feels like we'll drown.

I guess it's a good thing we know how to swim (at least, I really hope that you do). 

Sincerely, with love, 

a sharp edged ear willing to listen.

P.S.

I don't really have a post script.. 

P.P.S.

I lied just to make you smile.(insert name here), you are awesome. Don't ever forget that. 

Author's Note

Prose letter write for a friend of mine.

Reviews

[olla]

I read along while you recited this on WPOM.. well done by the way,, there is so much more to your work that simply the words.. and hearing you tell it in your words flavor the colors with passion only the author can truly express..