Accused

A Poem by beautifulblade

11.20.14

My heart dropped
when I saw the flashing lights
outside the window
and heard the fists pounding on the door,
my heart dropped.
It was raised back up and
smashed back to hell
in a fraction of a second
when I opened the door
and the blue uniforms told me
that they weren't there to tell me
that someone was gone,
but that they were there to
take someone away.

My heart dropped
and they beat my mind with
their silence as they ignored my questions
and led him to the back of the squad car.
At the station,
I was met with the same response.
The same disgusted stare and
confusion, because all they could think
when they looked at me was
"how could I date a rapist?"

My heart dropped when
I tried to tell them that it wasn't true.
That I was there.
That she was asking for it.
That he said no.
And so she led her second choice
of a man to the back room
and then blamed it on him...
to teach him a lesson that
you couldn't get rid of her that easily --
that crazy ex that everyone warns you about
but never really believes in.

My heart dropped
as she got her friends
to stand by her
and to follow me after school
trying to scare me into silence.
I said no.

My heart dropped
as the statements continued,
wrapping the noose around his neck
ready to hang him with their words.
I realized that she was just one
half crooked smile away from a
whole new kind of crazy.

My heart dropped
when they let me see him
for the first time.
Black eyes and bruised lips
that I wished were just my imagination
but that I couldn't blink away
no matter how hard I tried.
"NO TOUCHING!"
they said when I tried to take
his pain away.
"NO TOUCHING!"
they said when all I wanted to do
was wrap him in my arms
and tell him that everything
would be okay.
"NO TOUCHING!"
I tried yelling at them that
that was the point;
that he never touched her
"NO TOUCHING!"

...no touching. okay. you
don't have to yell...

My heart dropped as I looked
past the blue and purple
bruises and could see
that he was breaking,
ready to hang on false
accusations just to get
his feet off the ground.

They let him out on bail
and the next time the
flashing lights showed up
outside my house
it was was because
I took too long to find him,
and I couldn't get him to breathe.

My heart dropped
as I cried and felt
a whole new kind
of crazy.

No touching.
because why would you
hold a body
when there's
no feeling
no movement
no breathing.
No touching.