I'll be home

This is a poem about the fight between who we are raised to be and who we really are.

Please let me go home

my stomach feels sick and I want to be alone

my head is throbbing and my ears are ringing

I might pass out if i have to continue pretending

this isn't real, this person I am

shes happy, loving and understands

shes as fake as the tree we set up each year

the only real thing is the single tear

I don't want to pretend anymore I want to be free

this person I created just isn't me

If you could see what I see when i look in the mirror

she's cruel, shes hurting and screaming to leave

she's telling me all these horrible things she'll achieve

I can't pretend anymore, I just can't do it

the weight on my chest is getting heavier 

one day soon i think it'll crush me 

she's the shadow in the corner at night

lurking in the dark, preparing for a fight

each day i wake up exhausted from fear

afraid that someone will notice she's here

she's the hole in my chest were my heart once was

before the pain and horror filled it up

she's the ghost of the person i used to be

the only real version of me

she's scary and haunted 

alive but  hiding

lurking beneath the surface of who i say i am

the person i used to be, before they took all of me

and shoved me in a cage

she's starting to come through each day

little by little

she will win

when she does I know i'll be alone

but i'll be home.