Tomorrow will be better

Tomorrow will be better

A Poem by beauitifulybroken
"

TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder talking. Me pleading with my disordered eating. please do not follow this as advice this is not that, it is not healthy and I am aware of that.

"
All I want is some food
to nourish and soothe
just a bite of pizza wont hurt
it'll make me feel better I can always purge
tomorrow I'll be really really good
I wont eat at all, ill be the good girl I should
I'm so hungry it hurts, I'll do better tomorrow I promise
just one bite to fill the hole in my chest
NO
if you eat you will be full and we can't allow it
you will be satisfied and we will not have it 
you will be happy and you are not allowed to feel that
that state is not for you, you will starve
you need to lose the weight to fit into your clothing
that shirt is to tight those jeans do not fit
you will starve until you are a size 10
You will be happier when you have no rolls 
when you don't have a belly
when you are so thin your bones can break
but you will not be alive
you will not be able to feel
the struggle with food is real
everyday is a battle in my mind
people can't comprehend the pain and struggle i go through each day
the ideal weight and health states are constant triggers
I binge
then i starve
then i do it all again
i call it balance
but it;s killing me and my will to live
tomorrow will be better

© 2020 beauitifulybroken


Author's Note

beauitifulybroken
Trigger warning about disordered eating. This is not normal, this is from the struggles of a person with an eating disorder. I am okay. really I am, these are thoughts from another time. And I am slowly beginning to heal.

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Reviews

Hard to read but thank you for sharing your fight
Hope you are and will be better

Posted 2 Months Ago


beauitifulybroken

2 Months Ago

I have definitely been able to receive some healing since writing this. Thank you for taking the tim.. read more

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Added on October 13, 2020
Last Updated on October 13, 2020

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beauitifulybroken
beauitifulybroken

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