A Poem by beauitifulybroken

finding friends and then losing them, always feeling like I'm #2 :(

Where do I go from here? 
I question myself every time I feel like I've lost another friend
I find myself reaching out over and over again
the messages always left on read
it's starting to really mess with head
Is it something I did or said
something i wore, or is it something different instead?
i never find the answers so they pile up in my mind
driving me crazy, i always feel left behind
why am i never good enough to be the friend that stays
always left in the dark by myself 
i'm starting to get used to sleeping with my demons
the ones that tell  me i'll never be enough, 
i'm starting to really believe them
they are more real then the friends i thought i had
wanting to be wanted hurts so bad
a constant ache in my chest
a hole where my heart is supposed to be
when will it be my turn
when we the person who is picked first be me?

© 2020 beauitifulybroken

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Unfortunately I think this is a very relatable thing. I know for me personally, I've always struggled with friendships. Like any relationship, they take a lot of work and sometimes the first thing you have to realize is that if only one person is putting in that effort it isn't going to work out and that isn't the kind of friend you need anyway. Not that that makes it any better, but it's something I'd learned and figured I'd pass it along.
There's something really poignant in the line about the demons being more real than the friends you thought you had. I think you've really articulated feelings I know I've definitely felt before in a very interesting way. Good write.

Posted 9 Months Ago

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1 Review
Added on December 19, 2020
Last Updated on December 20, 2020



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