Angel's Rain

I think rain is something we all share an interest in. Not only because of the petrichor but also because there's something unspeakably magical about it.

I thought I heard the moaning wind

From the quiet where I lay

I thought I heard the crying storm,

Alone that darkened day.

 

I thought as murderous clouds appeared

Too late to run away

And then as bristling howl began

I couldn’t help but stay.

 

If falling rain is angels’ tears

And snow the angels’ dreams

Then what could the unearthly storms

To heaven’s angels mean?

 

I thought I heard the tired wind

From where I sat alone

Perhaps the anger from above

Or something else unknown.

 

I thought as vibrant purple hues

Pushed the storm away

Why the glowing angel’s tears

Had bathed the world today.

 

If anger yields the darkest thoughts

And sorrow brings on pain

For what reason then did angels weep,

And call upon the rain?

Author's Note

So when I was in fourth grade, my teacher told me I couldn't rhyme worth beans and to stick with a more mathematical career in the future. Alright, so I'm aware that "Crater Lake" doesn't exactly rhyme with "climbing a gate" but I was eight for goodness sake! Is my rhyming really that bad? Are there any pointers you'd be willing to give on how to get the perfect rhyme? Yes? Yes?

Reviews

[Brielle Cartny]

Very creative!! I love this! There are so many, i guess myths that involve why rain falls or what makes the snow fall and i really love what you did here. It always gets my mind in a rush to discover more imaginative proposals about the weather.

[Becca Bishop]

Wow, thank you!!! I've always loved thinking about the rain as the tears of angels but then one day I had an epiphany: you don't cry for no reason! Usually anyway. So why would angels cry? And yeah :P
I think my next poem's gonna be about mashed potatoes.....

[Brielle Cartny]

You make me smile

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Perfection is unattainable because of arbitrary precision. As you allude to in this poem, there is only one thing that is perfect and it is unknowable. As to the wonderfully wrought sights and sounds that set the stage for the story's questions, they let me into a very strange place. If you take each one of your "beautifully rhymed" quatrains and position them at the corners of a six sided star... for example, take the first three in order and place them at the top, bottom-left and bottom-right of the first triangle. Overlay the 2nd and place the 4th quatrain upper-left, the 5th at the upper-right corner and the 6th at the bottom corner... you have the Jewish Star of David. I'm not Jewish but I can never see this symbol and not think of the holocaust. Perhaps that is yet another reason why the angels wept? Who knows... it was just a thought. (No offense intended to anyone of any other religion or system of beliefs.) Well done, Becca.

[Becca Bishop]

Wow!!! You've got a fantastic mind!! Have I said that before? No?!!???
YOU HAVE A FREAKIN FANTASTIC MIND!!!!!!
There was no way I could've thought about that, but now that you bring it up it totally makes sense.
I hate you. In the good way.
Thank you!!! :P :D :D :D

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

Seriously, it was your wonderful poem, Becca. Thank you! (We are all just little parts of the bigger puzzle, n'ecst pa? I'll just be happy if I earn a place at the table.) :)

[Becca Bishop]

Aww, stop I'm blushing. Well I would be if I could. If we're all puzzle parts, then I call being the top right corner!!! DIBS!!!!! And you're definitely going to 'earn a place at the table'. I'll even bring you a swivel chair to sit on :D :D

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

Haa! DEAL! :D

[Becca Bishop]

:D :D :D :D

[love2write]

Becca, this is a beautifully written work. I love your use of imagery and the depth of thought it provokes. I am sharing this with a friend who lost her husband. Tonight, Christmas eve, it snowed and I wanted to share the meaning of it as it related to angels tears. Your poem expresses everything I was thinking but couldn't put into words myself. Thank you so much for listening to the blessed gift you have been given and not your teacher.

[Becca Bishop]

Aww :) Thank you so much!!! I'm so sorry about your friend and I hope she's holding up ok. It's really hard to go through that kind've thing, especially during the holidays. And you're such a great friend to be thinking of her!!! Thank you for your wonderful words :) :) :) :)

[jdr / Jennifer]

Beautiful poem with great flow.

[Becca Bishop]

Thank you very much :) :) :)

[FocusedAmnesia]

Nice flow, good read. I feel that in order to have a good rhyming piece, you can''t force it. If you're stuck, take a break, let it stew for a bit, and come back to it.

[Becca Bishop]

Thank you!!! And thanks for the advice!!! I'm not sure if that'd work with me...I get stuck so often that if a paused for a break every singly time I'd churn out a whopping line of poetry maybe every other week. And that's only if I get lucky enough to find the incentive to get on here and write :D Wait...what were we talking about?? Soup? Or muffins?
........nevermind :P Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!

[WingsToFly]

Nice flow, nice poem.

[Becca Bishop]

Thank you!!!!

[Sarahnade]

I really liked this, first off. :) Second, I just recently adopted the rhyming style from free form... rant poetry. Needless to say I like this type a lot better! :P My secret weapon for when I can't rhyme worth a crap off the top of my head? Online thesaurus.

[Becca Bishop]

Ranting's so fun!!!! Ok, yeah :P I'm glad you liked this!!! Thanks for reading and reviewing :D :D :D
Online thesauruses are the bomb (although I don't know why we call them that). It's just...I feel like such a cheater!!! I don't handle guilt well *grabs by shoulders and shakes* I....don't....handle...guilt....well....!!!! BLARGH!!!!
Woah...I need to calm down :P Sorry.

[Sarahnade]

Hahahaha! All good. :P And I think of it more as helping to expand my vocabulary :)

[Frieda P]

I don't give a rat's arse about rhyming, sorry, it's the sentiment in your words that always gets to me. Lovely, lovely piece.

"If falling rain is angels’ tears
And snow the angels’ dreams" What a satisfying melody!!

[Becca Bishop]

Thank you!!!! You know, one thing I've never really got is this: why do people have a rat's bottom in their possession? And if they have one why wouldn't they try to give it away? I don't know, maybe I just don't get the metaphor or something :P Wouldn't be the first time.
Thank you for the review!!! You don't know how much it means to me that people actually read this stuff - that I think is absolutely horrible, by the way - and like it. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

[Frieda P]

You bet your sweet patootie people are going to read it, it's good stuff! That saying comes from WWII. When US soldiers saw the Japanese flag they called in a "flying rat's a*s. Google! I had no clue either, you got me thinking, just have used it on occasion....and you're very welcome. :-)

[Becca Bishop]

Google is a miracle :D :D :D :D :D Thanks for looking it up :P It all kind've make s sense now!!! Ok, well, not complete sense...but more sense than when I first heard it! ;D Now I've gotta go look up the Japanese flag to see why they thought it looked like...that particular animal's rear. They must've been very imaginative people :P

[Frieda P]

haha, didn't have to be too too imaginative, and you made me laugh my own arse off! ;-)

[Becca Bishop]

:P hope there's no permanent damage ;P ;P I always knew I was a dangerous person :D :D :D

[Frieda P]

No worries, the damage was there long before you! ;P

[Cryingkate]

Becca Bishop, I keep reading some of your writings over and over without a reply.You honestly amaze me and I don't seem to be able to take the time to really write all the wonderful reasons why I love your writings.
I will try my best here someday soon. Till then I can only "Thank You"

You truly are a gifted writer.Your work is far above others.
You are a Leader among your piers.
When you are a star among your peers who are struggling to write and shine their light like you , You may be seen in their eyes as just another star in the night sky. But when you are an observer your Star shines like the brightest and biggest Star. Please Remember this and Remember who you are!

[Becca Bishop]

If you don't stop leaving such sweet reviews I think I might cry myself to death!!! And that would be a pretty sad way to die.
And please stop saying thank you. I'm the one who should be thanking you :)
I wish I had a cookie to give to you, but I just threw the last one at my brother. He's very annoying today. :P

[Cryingkate]

Your Teacher should of stepped down that day. Someone needed to ask her how she ever got to be a teacher without doing her homework?
Your chosen words work very well together. she was just too lazy to see the creative twist and bend you have with words. It's evident to me she was looking for standard mundane rhymes and did not see your uniqueness.

I had a similar experience. I got an A- instead of my usual A+ all because He said my story had a jumpy rhythm to it. I explained that it was intentional of coarse. I was writing about my baby nephew who was keeping me nerved up and jumping around for him while doing my homework. Evidently he did not see my creativeness and accomplished goal to relate the mood of the poem. And I guess it didn't fit his soft melancholy of what he thought poetry should be or sound like. However, I am sure you will love knowing that I did get even. Consider the revenge was done and the curse the teachers had tried to put on us was futile.
The next assignment my teacher gave us was about having to write something that was a good complete how to instruction. like a recipe, or how to fix or make something. I chose "How to Butcher a Pig" I had my back to basic's book from readers digest as my guide and I got an A+ with notes added PHEW ! LMAO
He got the complete instructions from beginning to end. Little did he know how creative I could be LOL. He had to read it every bit every gross detail as I was of coarse graphic.
No fear Becca, your teacher was wrong! Your writing proves it! You do not have to be mundane. you can be you!

[Becca Bishop]

How to butcher a pig????!!! That, my friend, is genius. I wish I could've seen his face!!! Teachers just need to take a chill pill sometimes (whatever those are). Thanks for the hilarious review!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Cryingkate]

:-) Thank You Becca Ps I told Gary about you and showed him some of your writing and he agreed and said it better then me. He said" That the teachers teach in such a way that it is like unto" Pigeon Holing" So be proud your not a Pigeon and proud your work doesn't fit their pigeon holes

[Becca Bishop]

I'm not a pigeon!!! I'm more of a...scarlet macaw or something :P Thanks!!!!