Sleeping

Sleeping

A Poem by BeccaB

That time of the might is here again

I can't get to sleep, it's such a pain

 

It's 11.50

Not even feeling drifty

 

Why can't i sleep?

Not even a peep

 

It can't be how i'm feeling

Coz all the cracks are sealing

 

Might be the underhand communication

When other kids get the temptation

To talk behind our back

I want to turn around and go ....

Smack

© 2011 BeccaB


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Reviews

Haha... Nice one!
On a serious note the message of trying to move past something and then not being able to do so because others give a constant reminder of it, either through their actions or their words.. sometimes "I want to turn around and go ....
Smack" is very appropriate..

Thanks for sharing.
A

Posted 4 Years Ago


That time of the might is here again
*Night. :)
This made me chuckle. I don't know or think you meant to do that, but it did. So relatable, the part about not being able to fall asleep.
The last part was a tad confusing to me? I didn't know how the poem led to that. But I tried my best to understand. :P

Posted 7 Years Ago


I know that frustration of not being able to sleep all too well. It's so frustrating. I am not sure what the last paragraph has to do with this poems. Is that the reason for the sleeping trouble? Great poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I totally get it. It's not even a feeling I can convey to you, but I TOTALLY get it. Good piece my friend. Keep writing!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awesome!

Posted 7 Years Ago


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TJ
Haha this is funny to me. Dont know if it was meant to be but it is lol

Posted 8 Years Ago


Yeah I didn't sense much emotion and 'Coz' isn't a real word and I think you meant 'night' where you said 'might'

Posted 8 Years Ago


Nicely written with an obvious talent for rhyming. Don't take offence but a little more emotion would look better.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Not a bad way with the words you rhyme. I was never very good with getting words to rhyme and having them actually fit into context. Just a few gramerical errors if you want to pay attention to them.

Night, not might. We all have typos.

11:50 or eleven fifty, depends on what yo're going for. 11.50 is just missing a dot.

Punctuation at the end. If you want, some poems don't have a single bit of punctuation in them at all, and if you want to go for that, then definatly turn 11.50 into eleven fifty. It makes it more believable.

I really liked the feeling described here, as we all experience it on our restless nights.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I really liked it! Great job!

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on May 26, 2011
Last Updated on June 24, 2011

Author

BeccaB
BeccaB

Darlington, County Durham, United Kingdom



About
I am a special kind of person....i try to finde the posetive in everything and everyone.....my life has been terrible i have had allot of heart ace and this is what drives me to look for the best in e.. more..

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