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To Run

To Run

A Poem by Eddie Gao

Unable to hold my breath any longer

The pages of my life

Brimming with hastily corrected mistakes

Ripped out

Torn apart and

Burnt

Parents screaming by the open door

I run.

Half naked

Undecided

Satan watches enthusiastically from above

I run.

And breath is a story in itself

The rasping of my lungs

Accompanied by a faint and contradictory

Birdsong 

Made dark and melancholy by

The constant ticking of

Time and

I run.

Who am I

But a mere creation of

She who left me

He who cut me

Those who

Saw me as the transparent

Glass that I

Convinced myself

I wasn’t

I run.

Towards

Dead ends

Where all the commas pause in

Apprehension for

A period.

Where all hell patiently loiters

For the justified presence

Of bliss.

Arrived at

The ledge.

Sweat glistening

Lungs straining

Muscles aching

Tensing

I

 

turn back. 

© 2012 Eddie Gao


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Reviews

First of all, the impact that this has at the end is so heartbreaking but euphoric at the same time. During it, as the reader, I am hoping for the build up to lead to something but when he is at the ledge, about to jump, I'm afraid he will and all I want is him to turn back, when he does, it makes me happy.

I love the little lines like this:
"Who am I
But a mere creation of
She who left me
He who cut me
Those who
Saw me as the transparent
Glass that I
Convinced myself
I wasn’t"

and

"I run.
Towards
Dead ends
Where all the commas pause in
Apprehension for
A period."

And

"And breath is a story in itself
The rasping of my lungs
Accompanied by a faint and contradictory
Birdsong
Made dark and melancholy by
The constant ticking of
Time and"

You really have a way with words and keeping the reader on their toes with poetry like this.
Well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Eddie Gao

7 Years Ago

Thank you Elizabeth! It's great to have some feedback.
Please leave critique - a specimen of my take on a more contemporary and darker style.

Posted 7 Years Ago


The Race by Sharon Olds. The Race by Sharon Olds. This is the highest form of compliment. Well-inspired!

Posted 7 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Eddie Gao

7 Years Ago

So helpful and constructive Annie it's beyond me
...and NO!!! haha totally not inspired by The.. read more
Deep, profound, and through and through excellent. Good job indeed, it's both inspiring and thought-provoking.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Eddie Gao

7 Years Ago

Thanks! Good to know what you thought of it.
Such an amazing poem Eddie :) ~∩_∩~

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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7 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on September 6, 2012
Last Updated on September 6, 2012

Author

Eddie Gao
Eddie Gao

Cambridge, AZ, United Kingdom



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