Your eyes

Please read author's comment before reviewing!

Your eyes

By Dusan Kostic

And so as we slowly walk on the beach

The sunset is shooting the last rays of light

On your tanned face.

I see the purity and freedom in your eyes,

The days passing by,

But your eyes still look the same.

They're still looking at me,

Telling me that my presence is

Important to you.

So I grant you with a kiss on your eyes

Every day, in hope they will stay

The same as every day.

Author's Note

This poem is not mine. My boyfriend wrote this. I just uploaded it because we would both like to hear some constructive and objective opinions on his writing. He's a musician first and he usually uses my poems and makes music that fits them. But I think that he could write his own lyrics as well. I personally believe that he has potential to become a good writer, with a little more practice and reading other work. He thinks he's not good at all and I wish to prove him wrong. So I would like to hear what you think, some suggestions, anything you believe would help him improve his skills. Thank you very much in advance! :)

Reviews

[Antoñyo]

Another review AFTER reading your author's note: He's definitely got talent, and he needs to hear it. At least one person believing in you can make all the difference in the world.

[LadySoDivine]

I agree very much on that. Thank you so much for your kind words, I'll make sure to tell him :)

[Antoñyo]

Tell your b/f nice job...instinctual and sensitive. Good qualities for male writers.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem for love. It is gentle and powerful. You boyfriend did well. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[LadySoDivine]

Thank you so much for your kind words :)

[Cassie]

Whaooo!!!! Totally beautiful, I loved it.

[Leigh]

Tell him its good and to do or show more

[LadySoDivine]

Thank you for the review, I'll make sure to tell him that :)

[Saumya]

this is great..!!
well done..!!

[LadySoDivine]

Thank you :)

[Saumya]

you are highly welcomed..!!! :)

[Jack...]

Sounds to me like he is in love...this was very nice. Tell him, good job.

[LadySoDivine]

Thank you Jack, I will :)