To Life Again?

A Chōka, with the syllabus count of 5-7 5-7 5-7 5-7-7.

With each drop of rain

That falls on my arid skin.

My body shivers,

More than ever in this cold.

I feel numb and stun,

Empty like a haunted crypt.

Without sensation,

I beg for an easy death

To rest in peace forever.

Author's Note

Chōka consists of 5-7 sound units phrases repeated at least twice, and concludes with a 5-7-7 ending. This writing has a syllabus count of 5-7 5-7 5-7 5-7-7 :)

Reviews

[Juan Victor]

Poetry with a system is truly a craft. I admire your craft and adherence to the syllabication.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Thank you, means a lot :)

[Bhaskar]

Heart touching lines... great thought and poem by you.... great...

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Thank you :)

[MOON]

Lovely has this sombre feel exactly right for the theme. Like how you introducing writers to different techniques.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Thank you :)

[The dark story]

each line of this poems carries a great and deep feeling with it.this is seriously a great work..."i feel numb and stun,
Empty like a haunted crypt.". i liked this line the most..........emotions are just flowing in it...hats off to you!!!!!!!!!

[Dani California]

Intense heartache really comes through to the reader. Beautifully written as always Bhavya - and you nailed the formula. Excellent!

[S]

I really like the somber tone of this poem.

[Suditi]

There is so much pain in this poem.
A beautifully written poem.

[just is]

This is really awesome! I enjoyed this.
Love the picture you used.

[scribblerT]

very well written .. appealing to the senses

[hmm]

Wow this is really good, I enjoyed this, like the set up. Wonderful!