Atrudir - in editing

I was sitting in a cab on my way to the client. I´ve never been bothered when they called late at night, to be honest it always made me happy. If someone does the work I do, they have to be ready to go anytime, anywhere. It was too hot in the cab, dark, and there was a strange smell in the air �" popcorn and sweet chewing gum. The seat to my left had a huge stain on it, and it looked and smelled like a strong Turkish coffee. I was clutching my briefcase on my knees and I was hoping this meeting will end soon. Everyone who works in my field is afraid of this kind of appointment.

The cab stopped, the driver turned his head and muttered the price.

"Sorry?"

"Seventeen pounds, twenty-two," the driver repeated, he has a very peculiar accent. I reached for my wallet and gave him a few pennies more, hoping it would make him happy. As I get off the cab, I stepped right into the puddle. I slammed the door, and the cab left in a hurry.

It was raining cats and dogs, I was completely soaked within seconds. I showed my ID to the doorman, so he could let me in. A car passed by, and sprayed the water all over the pavement. And on me.

"Oh, great." I mumbled and rushed inside the hotel.

I was standing in a very modern lobby with polished floors, fresh flowers and crystal chandeliers. After a few seconds I realized that I was standing on the red carpet that was stretched on the floor from the entrance, in front of the reception and up to the elevator. Water was dripping from my coat, and one of my shoes was full of water. The porter was staring at me, because with every step I made a big water mark on the carpet. I approached him and showed him a corporate card with my name and photo. The picture was taken three years ago, and I look like I had flu, my glands were swollen, my face was yellow, my hair was greasy and I had the worst salacious smile you can imagine. I should probably lose the card and get a new one. The porter looked at the card, he wrote something to his book and returned it to me without saying a word. I hurried to the stairs, because I hate elevators. Claustrophobia. The sign on the door said “staircase �" push”, but the door didn´t move. I tried again and again until I heard the porter yelling at me from the reception.

"Can´t you read? The staircase is not in use! "

"What do you mean “not in use”? It broke down or what? "

"They don´t pay me to ask why things are not working. Take the elevator."

I sighed and looked at the door. There was a sign “not in use”, but I still couldn´t believe it.

"Okay, it´s just six floors, I can make it."

I heard a faint clink, and the elevator doors opened lazily. The mirror inside made me feel uncomfortable, the music reminded me of hippies, marijuana and flowers in hair. I entered the elevator, pressed the button number six and I was watching the doors. I would say it took longer time to close them, but I was probably just stressed. I put my hand on the mirror, spread my fingers like a chameleon and I tried to breathe slowly and deeply, as my psychologist told me.

/ Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, and breathe out. / His words were ringing in my head.

The numbers on the elevator were rising, only a few more seconds and I´ll be free. All of a sudden the elevator stopped, and the lights went out. A cold sweat covered my body, I was heavy breathing and was trying to find something I can hold to so I won´t fall to the ground.

I started to press the bell button in the elevator, but nothing was happening. In a while I managed to get closer to the doors, I was furiously knocking on the door. The music stopped and I heard a faint voice: "There is a small elevator malfunction."

"You don´t say," I muttered.

"The technicians were called, they come in a few minutes.”

The elevator jerked sharply to the right, as if one of the ropes was ruptured.

"For God's sake!!"

I laid down on the ground. I stretched out my hands and legs like a starfish, trying to press them to the walls. To make sure I won´t fall any further. "It's only in my head, it's only in my head. Nothing is happening, I will open my eyes and everything will be fine, it's just in my head,"

I muttered under my breath, closed my eyes and then opened them violently. The elevator was okay, the light on the ceiling was on, and the music was playing. I took a deep breath and sat down. "The hell in my head." I stood up carefully, and I leaned on the elevator wall. The elevator jerked to the left, then to the right, and left again. "It's only in my head, it's only in my head, I will open my eyes and everything will be fine, it's just in my head."

This time, however, the trick of my psychologist did not work. I was sweating, and it was hard for me to breathe. I noticed a small door on the ceiling, or something that resembled them. I put all my energy to stop pressing the walls, and I jumped and tried to open the ceiling exit. All of a sudden, the elevator started to fall down, crashing the elevator shaft. Falling to nowhere.

 

I opened my eyes. I was blinking furiously because I was blinded by the light. Music wasn´t playing, the elevator was on the top floor and I was lying on the ground like a dead fish. My briefcase was on the floor next to me, my shirt was totally wet, and I look like I had a terrible hangover. I heard a click and the elevator doors opened. I looked around, there was no on in the hallway. I stood up, made my shirt to look neat again, and I ran through my hair with my hand. I walked out the elevator, closed my eyes and I took a deep breath several times.

I hate elevators. I was standing on the same place, with my eyes still closed, and I felt the air coming from nowhere. I felt the scent of the flowers at the reception, and last five minutes seemed like a bad dream. But something was not right. I felt like I was losing the ground under my feet and I was falling, and falling, and falling down…

Reviews

[Ellis Hastings]

Pretty good story so far. I suggest making it double spaced, though. When it's single space, the lines sometimes tend to flow together which makes it harder to read. But other than that I'd say it was an entertaining and quick read. Well done.