'AJ': Number One

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Now that we have the niceties out of the way...

I suppose I have to say thank you. More specifically, for making him happy. Most of the time he just generates his own happiness, but it's nice to see him absorbing someone else's.

You're a sweet girl, and really, I don't hate you. Yeah, I'm jealous of you, since the first time he actually seemed to care about something I did for him was when I gave him the titanium spork for Christmas this year.

That aside, I'm not intending to seem like I'm avoiding you, or that I don't like you. Truthfully, I'm trying to get used to the idea still. I'm trying to remember that you're not like Jamie, and he's not who he was two years ago when he was dating her. I'm trying to remember that he's not turning into someone he's not, like he did before. I'm trying to remember that just because he doesn't like me, doesn't mean he can't concentrate on someone else.

AJ, take care of him. I've known him for sixteen years, and (unfortunately at times) he sometimes seems like my brother. (Which perhaps is why he doesn't ever really want to do much with me...or on the other hand, should be a perfectly good reason why he would do stuff with me...forget it.) I can't tell whether my feelings are solely out of jealousy that you're the one he chose, or whether they're protective of him, wanting him to realize the impacts his choices may have.

One last thing. Technically, we're not supposed to date...like, pair off, quite yet. We're supposed to wait until we're of the age to get married. But I've stopped trying with him. He doesn't exactly listen to those standards our church has set. Then again, so have most of my friends. Maybe I'm just stubborn and a goody-two-shoes. But still. It's a guideline, and there are reasons for it.