The girl behind these eyes

You won't see me falter
You won't see me break
I'll never admit
That I am fake
I hide behind 100 looks
Just to survive the days
Sometimes it is hard
No one asks if I'm ok
Don't look at my life in envy
You won't see past what I've 'got'
It looks so good on the outside
And I won't tell you that it's not
I'll wear my best smile
Especially for you
what else can I do?

But if you stop for one moment and look into my eyes
Can you tell?
Tell they're so full of lies?
I guess the answers no, coz no one really looks
The little girl hidden inside the woman I let the world see
Please don't let me hear you say you wish you could be me
Because ill tell you now
It gets very tiring
Keeping up this act
I wish I could admit defeat
But I'm under my own attack
I want to be saved, but wait, no I don't
I've spent so long perfecting this
I won't let you in
I won't

Author's Note

This is a reflection of how my life was for several years. Although I feel ashamed, I have now let people in. It's hard to handle but sometimes it is for best. Sometimes you have to let someone in to see yourself free.

Reviews

[Frank]

A good effort in describing the trauma of being a teenager struggling to cope, to fit the mode imposed by society, culture, friends expectations of parents etc etc.

[Bliss.x]

Thanks for your comments, not about teenage years it's about life when you're just starting out in the big wide world I.e in my 20s and the outside world looking thinking I'd made it but the reality of putting on a front everyday. Now no one looks at me in this way as I have lost all that I had - materialistically speaking