Broken

Broken

A Poem by Blake<3

 I lay there.

Tears rolling down my face.

I thought you loved me.

I actually believed you.

What a fool.

So now I'll just wait.

While I'm completely lost.

Waiting for that one guy

 that will pick up 

the pieces 

And put my heart back together.

© 2009 Blake<3


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Featured Review

Nice, I like the lines: "So now I'll just wait./While I'm completely lost."

The line "Waiting for that one guy that will pick up the pieces of my broken heart." is really long in comparison to the rest of your poem, you might want to consider breaking it up. perhaps:
"Waiting for that one guy that will pick up/the pieces of my broken heart." OR
"Waiting for that one guy/ who will pick up the pieces (/) of my broken heart."
I'm not sure, I suggest you play around with it and you decide where to add a break, if you want to add one at all. Good luck with your piece I hope that you are happy with it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

awww i love it hun. its true poetry. i can feel the pain in the person. is it bout u? did someone break u rheart? who is it n ill break their neck!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Waiting for that one guy that will pick up the pieces of my broken heart."
I actually love this line. I agree with Courtney I would continue a new line after guy, but other then that I wouldn't change a thing. As you read you can feel the heartache and pain you are feeling and that is what makes a great poem. Nice job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

awwww blake its okay i love you,,,,,, and ill kick any guys a*s who hurts u.... lol best friends forever!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I agree with Courtney. Maybe something like: Until he comes/picking up the pieces/of my heart
But I love it. I mean, breakups hurt. They hurt bad. Tears are natural, yet we try to stifle them in this society. This is amazing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

i like this =] i just hope it didn't really happen.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

wow! i loved it....u r rlly talented!! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I quite enjoyed this little writing of yours. Very well written and read out. You have quite a talent =) Good for ya. Keep up the good work =)

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Nice, I like the lines: "So now I'll just wait./While I'm completely lost."

The line "Waiting for that one guy that will pick up the pieces of my broken heart." is really long in comparison to the rest of your poem, you might want to consider breaking it up. perhaps:
"Waiting for that one guy that will pick up/the pieces of my broken heart." OR
"Waiting for that one guy/ who will pick up the pieces (/) of my broken heart."
I'm not sure, I suggest you play around with it and you decide where to add a break, if you want to add one at all. Good luck with your piece I hope that you are happy with it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

This was beautiful. I liked it.. I can relate.
Keep it up. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 4, 2009
Last Updated on November 9, 2009

Author

Blake&lt;3
Blake<3

Madison, ME



About
Hey,my name's Blake.I go to Madison Junior High School. I'm in the 8th grade. Soccer and basketball are my life.:D more..

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