how did this happen?

This is not what I wanted. How did I end up here? All I wanted was a home what could I have done to deserve this. The grenades not even real, but they don’t know that. When did it start raining? I came this country only a few short hours ago. I only want a home. I have nothing left except a few mementos my parents left me. My entire world contained in one bag. So many dead. Why do they shoot us? What have we done? I don’t want this but I have nothing left. I just want to talk please don’t shoot.

Reviews

[Sicole Nender]

I like how conversational this is! You do a great job reflecting a writer's personal voice. I feel like you could definitely expand more on your situation since even by the end of this I am very confused as to what exactly happened to your narrator, why is he about to be shot? I think there are many ways of approaching that question and you can consider them stylistically. Great technique, I like your use of questions.

[greg]

It was based on the pic.

[Sicole Nender]

Thats really interesting how a picture or a tattoo inspired you to start a whole narrative. I'd really want to see where this goes. Maybe you can turn it into a novel! I think this has a lot of potential.