Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia

A Poem by imatotalboss
"

Split personality disorder.. or is it?

"
Hello, my name is James.
You don't know that, why you're bad with names.
I can't seem to get this voice out of my head....
"What voice does it appear to be son?" said the psychologist
Well, it sounds like me, but that it's seperate than me. Like I could be split apart.
I AM YOU, YOU FOOL. THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN NOT YOUR HEART.
It yells at me, sir...
"Has this, uh 'voice' ever made you do anything you wouldn't normally do?"
...Not that I know of.
Maybe you should tell him about the bodies of those you 'love' in the closet.
Shut up!!!! I was protecting them...
"James! is it talking to you now?"
LIE.TELL HIM NO.
No, sir.. Just a little anxious today..
"Do you ever experience strange, uncontrolled experiences, such as sleep walking?"
No, sir I don't think so.
Oh, so the time I strangled the cat while I was sleeping was just a dream, I see.
YOU AREN'T ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"James, is it talking to you. I won't ask again!"
In tears I said "Yes."
YOU ARE WORTHLESS. NO MATTER I KILLED EVERYTHING I TOUCHED.
I..I hate me..NO IT.
"You think this voice is a manifestation of yourself?"
I. Am. You.
No...Yes...I DON'T KNOW.
"How are things with mom and dad at home?.."
They're dead...They're all dead...I killed them all and loved it...
They passed away very untimely.. I loved them very much..
"...Son, why are you lying to me?"
Yes, tell him what REALLY happened to ol' mom and pop.
I, I don't know sir... I really don't...
"Why do you think you're here in a psychologists office?"
SIR, I DON'T KNOW.
Oh, but you DO.
It hurts...
*The Psychologist pulls out several photos of various people*
"Who is this?" he asked holding a picture of a woman stabbed to death.
I don't know...
"And this?" He revealed a picture of a man, intestines ripped out.
I. DON'T. KNOW.
He is showing you what You did what we did, so...BEAUTIFUL...
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE????? DO I KNOW THEM???
"....These are your parents....."
I started hyperventilating. At that moment I realized I didn't remember anything about my life.
You didn't have a life. You don't exist.
At that moment I sincerely wished I didn't... All I remembered was being three years old playing in the sand..
That's when the man came... You remember now... You wished not to exist so I became.
He touched you.
Mother ignored my cries for help...Father ignored...
That's because they never loved you. I DID, and DO. Sleep so I may continue..
Sir, what kind of life have I lived?
..."You've killed, murdered, raped, and stole. You've led a terrible life."
Would you believe me if it wasn't me?
"No, son..I wouldn't.."
See... He misunderstands that what we did was out of love...Sleep so I may continue to protect you..
Sir! I don't remember half of my life!
"You killed them son, in cold blood...So mercilessly.. Now you're baby sister will be left all alone.."
ALONE. WHERE DO YOU PLAN ON TAKING ME??
Yes... See he I'm not the bad guy, he is.
"You'll be staying here, James. It's not safe for you just to be roaming the streets."
"..You're unstable"
UNSTABLE?????? I WAKE UP FROM YEARS OF NOT BEING HERE, AND I'M UNSTABLE?
"Sir. Sit. DOWN."
NO, DO IT!!!!
I'm going to dissapear, this world doesn't need me. HE did alot more for this world than I ever could.
...I fainted...
I woke, but instead of me being on the outside controlling my body I was in the inside like a faint echo.
My face looked at me drenched in blood, smiled and said thank you.
The psychologist was dead. The records, along with the building was burned down.
I faded, but all I heard before I did was.. "I told you I'd take care of you" My last fading thought before I drifted into obscurity was. "this isn't Schizophrenia....'

© 2013 imatotalboss


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Added on June 29, 2013
Last Updated on June 29, 2013

Author

imatotalboss
imatotalboss

akron, OH



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