Heartbreak

You said you would never hurt me?

Was this just a lie?

I'm standing here with my heart broken.

Not a single soul insight.

I've walked this road, too many times before.

I know where I'm going, down the road of loneliness.

You promised me, that you were not like the rest.

You told me you loved me, but to this do you detest? 

So i slowly make my way down the lane,

when i came to a little girl, sitting in pain.

She looked to be about fourteen. 

All i thought to myself was she didn't know pain, I did. But there she was crying her little heart out. 

I continued to walk until I could go no more. 

i had a seat and stared at the sky.. 

I kept pondering why... why would you do such a thing? 

And at that moment I realized.

Everybody hurts, not only me.

There is someone out there, just waiting for me.

I'm not alone.. just like that little girl.

And one day I hope that is just what she will learn. 

Reviews

[Warick Ten Bohmer]

Take a look at the all of the i they need to be capitalized. Think some of these would work better with four lines in a stanza. Also the line that is the longest should become two separate lines at your full stop.

I've been told I was loved, I've broken 5 times over. It's because people change and the moments aren't eternally etched the same in each others minds. We either let ourselves drift or it's forced a upon us. To never give you is defiantly the key, which any reader would walk away from.

I like the poem. To start off with a promise no one can keep, it's the people we care about the most and are closest too that have the highest potential to hurt us. Then ending it on with wishful thinking, to hope isn't to know but we believe that the outcome might have a better chance of coming true if we are dedicated to wanting it to be so.

[DK6]

An all too familiar feeling, I truly felt emotion in this piece, thanks for sharing.

[J.S. Pua]

i agree to warick's suggestions..
other than that..
this is a fine poem..
good work..

the quetzal

[Jennifer Pennington]

Nice work Kristy