Romance And Pain

some are just not made for love

 

Romance with lots of pain

I knew her all the way ,since I set foot on that wonderful island when she first asked me if I was really from Iraq ,and she laughed ,and joked that she was also from Mars ,when I affirmed what I said ,she just looked at me with stunned eyes ,not believing ,you are joking right, she said .No ,I went on…

She just kept looking, now very silent ,there was a long a pause ,I could look in those beautiful blue eyes ,she was so tall ,very nice looks ,eyes so wild and lively ,yes I was drawn and accustomed to her looks and to her face ,she really broke my heart every time I looked at her from afar ,but then she would eye me every while ,I really wondered...

So there was a long pause when she said ,so you are from there , but I heard no one is left there ,I thought everybody died in a while ,then there was another pause where she kept looking at me ,yes she said ,it serves you right ,you fought the whole world ,then her lips quivered and eyes gone moist ,I could hear, see muffled sobs ,then she said so faintly ,no ,no really I never meant it dear ,I am sorry, you never deserved that, I heard from my sister once she worked in Iraq ,she told me ,you were nice people,oh yes they never let you live ,but surely they want you all dead ,now there was almost wild tears ,and cries ,tell me , she said, there are so many like you from there, like us human ,with everything, hands legs ,nothing missing ,I heard there were some horrible things from there,oh dear how could you stand all this and still in your right senses, do you really still feel like us ,do you love, could you love me ,I saw you look at me once ,but I dismissed it ,now that I know ,how could you love ,I think all you do is hate ,do you hate me ,but I love you dear I could take you in my arms give all the kindness in the world and protect you from the so much pain you surely feel ,what have you done to deserve all that ...

We were standing at the entrance to the emergency rooms, under a small roof that kept us dry from the raging rain, as now ….

 it was raining like mad, as if the skies were also sad and crying, the rain, the heavenly tears ,that's why I think I went down the rain so it fits me well, I was near her ,I was looking in front of me and I kept silent all the while ,then seeing the rain ,I was taken by the great sight, the rain kept pouring on the all around you high green grass, all the tall trees, the sight was great I felt myself very unworthy of the going on sad talk ,I took some steps into the rain, I did not know what I was doing she must think I was going mad, I was a mess now, all wet ,but I just liked to feel wet and having that rain falling on me and I turned around to her ,I looked at her ,she was somewhat baffled at me ,her eyes looking suspicious, that I could have gone mad ,I took a long look at her and smiled in a very silly and loony way ,you think I am mad ,I said ,yes I think so dear, I went on, sometimes I got these wild fits ,I am sure I am crazy somehow ...

she looked back and was very alarmed ,I think she wanted to pacify my feelings and smiled ,I could see it was a forced smile for I could see she was really alarmed at what was going on ,and said ,come on dear, come back from the rain ,you will mess up your clothes and hair, and your soul ...

I looked back ,no ,I said ,leave me here ,you go back in ,I will not bring my troubles onto you ,I am really troubled in mind, I want to stay in the rain ,and I kept smiling that very unhealthy smile ,very surprisingly ,she came into the heavy rain ,took my arms and took my head in her hands and kissed me strong ,it was the sweetest thing I ever felt in a while ,I just kept looking at her eyes ,now I could not hold my tears any more so I let myself into a frenzy cry ,she just kept kissing me on my cheeks like trying to wipe the tears away ,and she hugged my tight ,I was so happy while still crying ,it was very mixed feeling ..

Here she pulled at my arm and took me back to the back yard of the building, this is the back door to my room, she said, and she went in and pulled me inside, and closed the door.

Author's Note

things that happened ,just will not get off my mind

Reviews

[emmajoy]

War and what it does to human beings is hell on earth. The nights of fear, not knowing if there'll be another day; days of perpetual war-made noise mingling with the eruption of bombed buildings , screams, calls for help, calls to unseen family, and then deathly silence before it all begins again and again and again. The loss of loved ones, the loss of dignity, the fading of a culture and history - all that's happened before century after century after... and, continues today. No wonder tears need kisses. No wonder people need kindness and sweetness.

One day Mankind will achieve success - war will have won, Earth will be gone- there'll not be a world. Curtain down. The play's over. It was a tragedy. But there'll not be another one, there's nobody left to fight.

Sorry, written too much but your story got to me. Such a thought provoking piece.

[alternative_be]

I can understand that hearing that somebody is from a certain country whether it is Iraq or another, can be a shock to someone, especially when you take into account how the media work all around the world. Most people only watch their own country's tv-channels or never read any foreign newspapers, so the view of a country that they get can be so utterly biassed that it becomes ludicrous, as it is in Mary's case. Yet I can understand her initial shock being confronted with you and discovering that you were as human as everyone else and not at all like the image she had kept so well in her mind.
Of course you become a mess at the moment that you are treated like a pars pro toto, a tiny part of a very big and confusing jigsaw puzzle. She must have realized that and decided to kiss and make up and a little more...

[Celtic Cat]

As your mixed feelings in the end, so are mine mixed throughout. It is sad that she was amazed that all Iraqi's were not dead...it made me think it was a futuristic piece (NOT THAT IN ANY WAY DO I WISH TO EVER SEE A FUTURE AS SUCH) but it put me in a different time. Her shock that you still had all of your limbs is such a sad reality, as you've told me of your sights in town. It is sad that you say in description that some are not made for love, and here below me sits comments from my dear friend Emily who echoes that sentiment. It makes me think that when you are raised in a country that has so much uproar going on and so much hatred and pain being aimed at it can you believe in love? I know that you do, as we have had heart to hearts and I know you are as complete a human being as anyone, even moreso.... but still this piece leaves me with such a haunting ghostly cold that shivers. I do love the part about the kiss and her then trying to kiss your tears away and finally giving up the idea of your madness and inviting you into her home. No wonder this memory stays with you, it is so full of so much. It is sad but tender, it is odd and wonderful, it is bizzare and stunning all at once. Perhaps a healing took place for both of you that day as it seems to me you both learned a little from one another in the sharing of this moment. A very good piece, Moayad, thank you for sharing this with us.
And after a second read I realize I poised the same querie she did on love, so silly I forgot the beginning by the end, forgive my mind it has memory issues!!

[Emily Elizabeth]

Wow, you're from Iraq too? That's cool.
I loved the ending, it was so brilliant and really left the reader hanging. There is a strong, romantic feeling about this, and it really moved me, as well as the deep political message. It's bittersweet.
Thank you for sharing!