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The Race.

The Race.

A Story by Destiny Crawford

The character's name: Connor Oct Please do not read this if you dont like violence.


  I got out of bed, shaking my head. I had the worst nightmare last night. Just as The Race was about to start, I got a huge headche. Then the alarm sounded, making it worse. Within seconds I was dead, my headache distracted me. Someone killed me from behinde.

  What is it with The Race anyway? Why do only the eighteen and nineteen year olds have to sacrifice their lives for King Denek's amusment? It's so unfair.

  This is my second year being put into the race. Last year I got lucky and a rich guy bailed me. He bribed the king with chocolate. That freaking scum. King Denek would do anything for chocolate. Nobody gives it to him though. I have no idea why.

  This year The Race has new rules and now, you can only get bailed out by the king. That is incredibly hard. He doesnt like kiss ups. He doesnt like slackers. He doesnt like over-confidence. He hates stupid people too. So basicaly, you have to be a polite, shy, smart person. That is the oposite of me.





  I pushed my way through to the front. The front is the best place to start. If you have the experience. I was in The Race for a good three days, so I have some experience.


  The alarm sounded. I ran as fast as I could toward the trees at the other end of the clearing. No one else was going this way. Pigeon-brains.

  This was the shortcut. I thought they desrtoyed this trail. I guess they wanted to see if anyone was smart enough to use it. I was half-way smart. What has become of my age group? Why have their brains turned to dust?



   That meant there are at least five people dead. "Crap!"


*Two more Gunfires*


  I sat there, feeling hopeless. Wanting to pray for those who have died, but I cant. I got to keep moving.

  Then, I heard something rustle in the bushes. I pulled out my gun and shot. It was a reflex. I shoot at anything that scares me in the woods, at night, when I have a gun.

    I ran over to the bushes and checked it out. A person. Ugh, I hate this race. I sat there for a while and prayed for the person's soul.

  I got up and started running toward east, following the trail.



  "I dont want to have 'ta kill you!" I locked eyes with the tall, red haired dude.

  "Go ahead and try! I bet you dont have the guts! Country boy..." He made a face. What a little snooty ginger, he is. I pulled the trigger, watching the bullet fly into his chest.

  "Didn't your 'mama' ever teach you how 'ta be polite?" Forcing as much country accent as I could into it, while his body went limp. Those would be the last words he would ever hear. 

  I started to run again. I. Was. Almost. There.

  But then, I tripped and knocked myself out. I hate karma. That ginger deserved what he got! Oh well, I'll make it there before anyone else does anyway.



  I woke up the next morning. My head throbbed. I tried to shake it off. I got off the ground, brushing my clothes off.


*Five Gunfires*

  "Holy..." I counted up the amount of people dead. Eight gunfires total. Five people per gunfire.. Forty people dead.

  The thought of forty people, dead, was horrifing.

  I started to run again, fearing I would be next. I ran through some bushes into a clearing.

  The finish line was right there! I ran as fast as I could...


  I pointed my gun towards her head. "I will.."

  "Just kill me now and get over with it. I have no reason or desire to live anyway." She looked straight into my eyes, basically begging me to kill her.

  I put my gun down. " I cant do this. My 'mama' always told me not 'ta hurt a girl. I cant disobey my 'mama'."

  "Fine I'll do it my self." She pulled a knife from her boot. She took a deep breath. Then, she jabbed herself in the stomache.

  I watched in horror, as she silently fell limp onto the ground.

  I sat by her, praying for her soul.

  I got back up and walked over the finish line. My eyes somber. Then, a bunch of people from my hometown came running toward me. They congradulated me, gave me a pat on the back. What they dont realize, is that I am truly scarred for the rest of my life. I hope sometime, in the future, The Race will be shut down and destroyed.

No one deserves to die, just for a king's amusement.














© 2012 Destiny Crawford

Author's Note

Destiny Crawford
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It very much reminds me of the Hunger Games, but I liked the concept mentioned of being able to pay your way out of it. I think that you had a good start to your character but we never really get to know him. Connor talks about praying for their souls, and things his mother said to him but it feels a bit rushed. Does he have a religious background? What sort of religion exists in this world? What was/is his mother like? These were just some of the questions that come to mind while I was reading. My advice? Take the time to really expand the story, add more depth to the character. You're on the right track :)

Posted 2 Years Ago

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Added on April 3, 2012
Last Updated on April 3, 2012


Destiny Crawford
Destiny Crawford

With my best friend "Ms. Mockingjay" in Carson City, NV

I am a teenager that lives in Nevada. My name is Destiny (of course) and I love to write! That's why im here! Hope you guys like my writing :) Btw my best friend is "Ms. Mockingjay" or Eden Maple :) .. more..