Walking

Walking

A Poem by frozensakura
"

Well.. -sigh-

"
Shes walking
Don't look down
Shes walking
Try not to frown

She's walking

One step after another
Full of caution and doubt
One after another
Filled with terror and fright

walking 

It's hard to balance 
On this forever lasting path  
This tightrope here
Unbalanced, that's life

walking

Being so high up 
the fall painful 
So very frightening

walking

"Do I catch myself
How do I stop myself"
Things she thought 
Outloud

She keeps walking 

Next time she falls
That'll be it
She won't get up anymore

"I won't let you fall my dear"
truth? or are they more lies?
Can't you see, this time it isn't me
Dear your driving me to the end...

"if you fall, I'll fall with you. I'll take the pain and keep you safe in my arms. I'll make sure you get back up again. I'll help any way I can"
Kind friend why
Why care so much?
When we both know how hard
 that task would be

Thoughts fill her mind
Walking

The next time she falls,
Shell fall on the blood stained
 shards of glass
Left behind
From hard times 
that have passed

When she finally falls
She won't get up.
Won't wake up. 
Never see the light of day again

Walking
Concentration faltering
Walking 
Oh look...
Shes Already Falling
 

© 2012 frozensakura


Author's Note

frozensakura
well there you go :/ -sigh-

My Review

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Featured Review

I love this piece, it's very easy for a reader to connect. It also ranged in the anxiety that anyone can have in time of difficulty in their life, not to mention that ONE friend who always helps you see better and be better even though they can't see it in themselves.

Very well pieced together, someone already went through and told you where to put some things that could improve it so I'm not going to repeat what they have already said.

Great jobs girls. Kudos

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love this piece, it's very easy for a reader to connect. It also ranged in the anxiety that anyone can have in time of difficulty in their life, not to mention that ONE friend who always helps you see better and be better even though they can't see it in themselves.

Very well pieced together, someone already went through and told you where to put some things that could improve it so I'm not going to repeat what they have already said.

Great jobs girls. Kudos

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Shes walking
Don't look down
Shes walking
Try not to frown" 'She's'

" Things she thought
Outloud" i may be completely wrong, but i believe that 'out' and 'loud' are seperated.

"Shell fall on the blood stained" 'She'll'. I like this. It shows people's daily struggle against life. Good job.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice. Well written and keeps you hanging to the end. Loved it!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Shes walking
Don't look down

ME: WHAT?!?!?! WHY?! I'll trip over a WHAAAA- !!!!! *trips over a cat*

*continues to read*
OK! That was wicked. Despite the fact you had me biting my nails without noticing I was biting my skin, this was really cool and had such an eerie effect! LOVE IT!

Posted 7 Years Ago


frozensakura

7 Years Ago

thanks !!
First word needs an apostrophe. Same word, third line, needs one too. You have one line that just sticks out? A bit strange aesthetically. If that was purposed, I just don't get it. It looks like a glitch. "Shell fall on the blood stained " needs an apostrophe. It's another contraction you missed. The repetition of walking has me near swooning. I want to marry the last stanza and have its babies.

Posted 7 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's always worth struggling on, despite how hard it is to walk it. Quite a sad piece. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very Nice. It hit something somewhere that made me want to read and keep on reading. It was an Awesome Read.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Amazing.
~Emmy~

Posted 7 Years Ago


beautiful

Posted 7 Years Ago


"Oh look... /Shes Already Falling" Oh that's ominous. You know what's gonna happen to her even though it's not said, I love it. The repetition of 'walking' so much really emphasised it nicely, and then she's no longer walking at the end.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on April 24, 2012
Last Updated on April 25, 2012

Author

frozensakura
frozensakura

Riverbank, CA



About
names athena. middle names dayana, so ppl end up calling me day, dai, die-die, etc. So, feel free to call me Dayana ^_^ lawlz itz teh name i use 4 mi fbook nd vampirefreakz O.e so if u want, u can fri.. more..

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