Flash

This is a unique type of satire which I thought up while showing a friend of mine the Flash Gordon movie in my creative writing class. (Mind you this was written earlier this year and haven't edited.)

“FLASH AH AHHH” rang the boom box bungied to the back of the elderly man's moped as he pulled up to the stoplight. The 49cc engine chugged with the beat. “HE'S A MIRACLE” shouted the strained stereo as he stared straight faced at the now red light. His long white beard almost touched the seat of his moped as he rocked from side to side searching for comfort. We pulled up next to him as he completed his adjustment. I stared at him with admiration as I examined the expertly done bungie job. He slowly turned his head to met my gaze and mouthed “KING OF THE IMPOSSIBLE” in perfect sync with the track. He then turned his head slowly forward. I was astounded by how he kept a straight face throughout the entire confrontation. The light turned green and he puttered away taking a left as “HE’S FOR EVERY ONE OF US, STAND FOR EVERY ONE OF US” played. I sat there astounded until my wife rudely stated that the light had turned green and I too began to putter across the intersection.

Nobody knew anything about him other than the fact that he called himself Flash, lived in a rag tag shed in the backyard of a perfectly good, empty house, and every morning he would ride out of his backyard blaring the Flash Gordon theme and drive around all day tapping his sandal to the beat of the music.

Honestly I envy him. In his mind he was Flash as he was in ours. I had talked to some of the town Masons after a town hall meeting about resurfacing main street or something like that (my wife always drags me to those damn meetings anyway) and they told me he had always been odd throughout school but nobody knew quite what was up with him.Some envy him, while others think he’s a nuisance. He’s had countless noise ordinance fines, but according to Greg, our local sheriff, he’s payed off everyone off with a cartoonish sack of pennies and dimes. (never quarters or nickels or any other form of coinage) Nobody knows why he cruises around in such a way or how he can manage it every day all year through sleet and snow (especially at his age) but I like to think it just might be, “BECAUSE HE’S FLASH,” as the song claims.

Author's Note

I understand there is no real story here. My intention is to find out if the audience would like to hear more about this character and what they thing of him based off of this occasion.