detestable

detestable

A Poem by bpark
"

freeverse poem, unfinished

"

In both eyes flash the streetlights

like dimming fireflies in the night.

I’m riding these borderline abandoned

city trains home from my cubed cubicle,

hoping to God I manage to never go back.

ninety-four stops it seems from mine so I

crack my neck first right then left and I

open my leather bound notebook to write:


"Not quite a poet

Not quite in love
Not quite a friend

Not quite a savior

Not quite a catalyst

Not quite a romantic

Not quite capable of a revolution,

even the one I’ll die without.”


grinding metal screams as the train slows;
I turn the page and sarcastically cross out
 93
I close my eyes as the doors open, then shut,
rubbing them until movement straightens my back.
I can't shake the feeling of confusion and concern;
something’s different in here, something changed
at that station. It’s brighter all over, beautiful even.
I eye the cab and quickly unravel the answer to why.

it’s the woman sitting down the row, her legs crossed.
she’ll probably catch my stare. I really don’t care.
I wonder if she knows of her own perfection.
the disheartened look she gives says she doesn't.
A man is slumped next to her, he's drunk and asleep.
she attempts to hold his hand but he pulls away.
this a*****e doesn't deserve to share a train with her,
let alone conversate & love & make love with her.


I cross out 92, brakes squeal and the train stops again.
I quickly pack my things in disgust and stand up.
sighing loudly and shaking my head dramatically 

I walk past this pathetic, ungrateful shell of a man.
Then I bend down as I smile widely at the woman
so she has no choice but to notice; she smiles back.
I'd rather wait 30 minutes for the next train in this f%#@ing
blizzard than keep biting my tongue at this small tragedy.

© 2013 bpark


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Reviews

It was wise, it was mundane, it was real. Beautifully written.

Posted 5 Years Ago


The imagery in this is great. Very original, I could see the bum and the beautiful woman on the train and oh! the mundane and redundant days that transpire. How many of us will to break through.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Bottle cap frustration,this drug continues to amaze me,soo much on the train,a hundred bottles of beer on the wall.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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12228 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 19, 2012
Last Updated on February 25, 2013
Tags: freeverse, poem, poetry, ranted-tirades

Author

bpark
bpark

Salt Lake City, UT



Writing
Three Verbs Three Verbs

A Poem by bpark