The Devouring Sea

The Devouring Sea

A Poem by Brandee D. Hack
"

Think Greek Myth!

"

Oh sea! Which is a home to me

let my soul be set free.

For Elysian Fields I await,

If the the sea - for me - you take.


The God who's realm I travel in

does not make light - or mercy bend.

The water, it sway's, to and fro 

this compassion, I shall never know. 


Though son am I,

from Amphitrite I came

unaware of love

“Gods, do I blame?”


Immortals life are unlike the rest

chained to others, compassion - un’blest.

Now this eve has finally come

Am I really Poseidon's son?

© 2013 Brandee D. Hack


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Featured Review

Not bad. You have a good concept and you've expanded on it fairly well, but there are a few grammar errors here and there, and the Shakespearean language you use doesn't seem quite as grounded as it should be to give it merit - I'd take it out and focus on just the writing. Just because you're going for a Greek myth doesn't mean you have to use that kind of language.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Not bad. You have a good concept and you've expanded on it fairly well, but there are a few grammar errors here and there, and the Shakespearean language you use doesn't seem quite as grounded as it should be to give it merit - I'd take it out and focus on just the writing. Just because you're going for a Greek myth doesn't mean you have to use that kind of language.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 17, 2013
Last Updated on May 18, 2013

Author

Brandee D. Hack
Brandee D. Hack

Ireland Co.



About
Hello all. My name is Brandee. I have wrote many different genres of writings for many years. I hope that by putting it up that that will help me get some feedback and constructive criticism. .. more..

Writing