Wraith ruins

this is my first story that I've written so I'm very much an amateur, it is based on true events that have occurred in my country. all the criticism is welcome

 The Sneaking dawn of the nineties has not been a gentle breeze, as it came with bloody axe and utter terror.

 No days, no nights were welcomed in this slaughtering era of heart breaks, gruesomeness and the bitter  goodbyes  of  freedom and Independence  that have cropped  1 million and half fighting souls.

It’s 5.00 pm and the curfew siren have filled the dreaded air to announce the end of another day and the beginning of long hours of prayers and daunting hopes that the bleakness of the nights won’t snatch more necks.

 The muted civilians took refuge in their humble houses and begun the long smothering waits for the somber hours.

 Refusing to keep the homogeneous silent tune of her parents and the rest of the village was the 5 years old girl Amira, busy with playing and living her enchanted world of imagination, she was completely oblivious to the real one.

After getting bored with hey toy, Amira decided to run to the kitchen and help her mother Fatima that was busy preparing the couscous, imitating her and unaware to the heat of the food  she grabbed a piece of butter and intended to put it  in the couscous to mix it like her mother does , Fatima did not see what was Amira doing as she was entirely zoned out  ,only to be awoken few seconds later by the cry of her daughter that got burned from the hot couscous , fastly she grabs her hand and put it in cold water than massage it with ice.

The burned hand has taken the joy out of Amira and her desire to help her mother so she joined her father Ahmed and her older brother Massinisa in the living room where they were watching TV.

Ahmed hugged his daughter and start to blow some air on her hand to console her and show her affection, than he opened a jar of honey and put some of it on the burned area to ease her pain, one hour later dinner was served, though the cranky mood and the painful burning, Amira did not mind enjoying the couscous even though she was planning to not eat it, so far the murky atmosphere is quit and everything is fine.

 “Looks like the night will pass smoothly” said Ahmed to his wife as they were going to bed.

The village was in the kabyle mountains completely surrounded by them and 100 km away from the main town Tizi Ouzou, it was an unprotected area were the inhabitant had almost no security or even a connection with the rest of the world.

As its powerless people were in the deepest nocturnal sleep, the smooth night was not going to be so smooth after all as the prolific troops of so called the jihadists have encircled the territory to begin their long macabre killings ,few minutes later the dark peace was polluted with shrieks and screams of the innocent people as they watched their loved one being slaughtered and decapitated one by one  waiting for their turn, there was no escape and no rescue for the poor civilians as their cries echoed in the mountains finding no listener or savior . 

Like the rest of the families, Ahmed and Fatima were terrified as they waited fearfully for their inevitable destiny, they grabbed their two kids so tightly and prayed to God, Amira have never seen such awe in her mother’s eyes, she started to ask

” what going on? What going on? Why there is screams?”

 With tears on her pallid face Fatima shut her daughter’s mouth and asked her to be quit.

The screams got higher and closer only to be silenced afterward with death.

a hubbub and clamoring voices were next Amira’s house but she can only distinguish few voices conversing

“Are we done, we got to go man, are we done?”

“No we’re not, why you’re in such a hurry we have to finish them all”

“What? But we never did that, we usually kill only few families”

“They’re filthy Amazigh, I hate them and I want to finish them all, do as you said and keep your mouth shut, it is our duty”

“Okay fine, but it’s been a while for me you know”

“A while! For what?”

 “ you know I want to enjoy myself little bit tonight, the last time I did it , it was with a 60 year old lady  man, not a pretty scene” sarcastically  laughing

“Well, take the youngest one in this house and satisfy your needs brother "

The smirks and the ironical laughter were followed by heavy bangs on the door of Amira’s house and then the heartless men barged in.

They were 4 tall bearded men, they had the longest beards Amira have ever seen. she saw the man behind the voice that she was hearing while he was giving orders to the rest of them.

“Begin with the males hurry; finish them I’ll get the females "

Ahmed was screaming alongside his son and wife while Amira beheld the whole scene in silent, traumatized, she watched her own father and brother being slain.

Time had frozen for a moment as the house sank in pool of blood, Ahmed and Massinisa have died.

Fatima was next, she got grabbed and pulled down by her hair by the leader, stabbed in the stomach and then decapitated in the most horrific way.

There is only Amira left now, the leader turn toward her and hold her hand saying:

“You have to help your uncle child so that I won’t hurt you, okey “

Voiceless, Amira stared at him with no response

“Take off your clothes kid now, hurry up take it off "

Amira made no move as she was completely traumatized and shocked

“HGH, the stupid kid TAKE OFF YOUR DAMN CLOTHES OR I‘ll KILL YOU, I’m not going to wait any longer”

He puts his gun aside and stripes her from her clothes and then forcing her to the ground as he starts raping her constantly to reach his wanted orgasm, but the child could not resist the force anymore, being only 5 years of age, she passed away after few minutes of the dreaded rape.

Ahmed’s family was one of the last ones in the village, few hours later there was on one left but ruins , the sun won’t rise on a live greenish  village anymore as of its 250 sweet dwellers have been murdered in the most horrendous way and it  became nothing but a ghostly stigma on the map.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

First I love Couscous. Secondly, I despise those fanatics and so called jihadists who are misguided about the true meanings of (Jihad) and Islam. Everything they are doing in the world is evil and contrary to the true teachings of Islam. It is all about power, cleansing other minorities and spreading mayhem which is contrary to Islam. Islam in my opinion is the most used by politicians, pundits, Tyrants and jihadists to justify their wicked actions as part of this story tells in a marvelous way. Islam at its core means peace of the self and with others and surrendering to the will of God and His commandments. I'm more spiritual and not doctrinal. Pen on...:)..................

[Latifa]

thank you for your enlightening observation, I completely agree with you I frankly hate them cause they have distorted our religion in the most horrific way. and I m more spiritual myself, or at least I try to be and that's my aim that's why I tend to like the sufism a lot because of what is holds of spirituality.

[Sami Khalil]

Me too. God help us and others from them. You are welcome...:).......

[Woody]

apart from the typos and the few errors here and there, this is a poignant narrative. it's clear that it's an imagined story but I know that the truth of those ten black years is far more horrific than any fertile imagination.
what those jihadist do in the name of Islam is unthinkable. I'm dreading what the future has in store for us.

[Latifa]

thank you woody for the constructive review

[Woody]

pleasure :)

[raj24]

it reminded of the incidents that are happening in various parts of this world in the name of religion... it hurts and i just cant understand how they think they can justify their to acts to even God on whose name they are fighting.. its nothing more than hiding yourself from reality and accepting yes they are wrong.. well described Latifa...keep writing :)

Raj

[Namrata]

It didn't feel like I was reading a story, you know. A story would be a figment of imagination, mostly. Something about this write is so real and down-to-earth cruel that it intensely stirs the reader. It was like you were there, and you escaped to tell your friends this. You could have written this more intense but nevertheless the pain and torture is very much clear.
Very good attempt. Bold attempt.

[Latifa]

thank you for your notes, I appreciate it

[Alfred Kukitz]

The intenseness could be more intense. You could create more description of the house, personal features, give the more of the character's traits so the shock of their horror rings more loudly. You are on your way Latifa keep working, writing is rewriting.

[Latifa]

thank you for your observation, I'll try to work with it next time.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Seems this is in a very rough draft...the way --- you begin...its the 1990's and where is the place of this story located??? and as I go about the read...its writer --- which is you --- of course...did you read this after its creation...and edit your work for presentation...its easy to jot down the lines...yet its the editorial part of the scheme of the write --- which makes or breaks this work...I would go over this and give it a tune up and post again...being this is your first story...its all in the hard work to make the story sound and attract your audience...

[Latifa]

thank you for such wonderful criticism, I really appreciate it.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[Ghost Writer]

Wow, um I liked the emotion behind your story and the details you used. This piece like all of your others was truly mesmerizing.

[Latifa]

thank you for reviewing it, it means a lot for me Rosy

[Ghost Writer]

I always answer read requests and review them. It means a lot that you asked me to review it