Thin Ice

This is for and old friend lost to me...

Good friend, gone in a seconds time

Never knowing the true meaning of life

I caught you creeping round the corner

Dagger twisting deeper in my heart

Counter love with all you hate

You know I'll stick around in the end

Fix the fracture with some time,

Clear the countless clutter from our minds

I never meant to hurt you no,

Just wish you'd said goodbye before hello

It's an ever thinning ice we skate

Trying all too hard to break the pace

Don't do it for me, for yourself

When the hammer falls

Well never know

Reviews

[Shapeshifter]

thanks for the review. im glad you saw the intense emotion underneath. most of my writing tends to free form and more often than not, ill get a line that creeps in and dosent make sense to me at first, but i assure you it has its place.

[The Wave]

nice,
enjoyed reading this,

overall, there is a nice flow to this, held my attention from start till end, but i didn't see the relevance of the line "when the hammer falls" to the rest of this piece. there is strong emotion here and with that i say,
good job

[FoolsGold23]

This one was painful, not to read, but to feel, the feeling you embue this one with is quite raw and fitting. I enjoyed the succinct yet soft statements, you cleverly succeeded in communicating your views on a friendship ruined. Powerful work.

[Rachel DeHart]

"Counter love with all you hate"

I can really relate to this poem, and you've written it very very strongly.
Great poem, and wonderful imagery.