A Paper Mâché Heart

If I had a paper mâché heart

on this pleasantly rainy day,

it may melt away and then

transform into such beautiful art,

but that would be quite okay

because as it becomes a bluejay

my heart may finally sing aloud

for all the world to see, and

such a fluorescent sound; a melody

where I can see all the colors of

the rainbow diamonds in the sky.

And as I fly this rainbow kite,

sewn from the fabric of my memories,

high above and into the sea of rainy

dreams, I will become aligned

with the night light at my bedside

as it shines brightest in the night sky

while my paper mâché heart travels

far and wide; I know, truly, that

life is a cotton candy carousel ride

that I am happy to call my home

as my heart travels the stars alone.

I know that my heart is my own

and even if it melts away,

on this pleasantly rainy day,

I know that everything will be okay

as I know that you will forever

and always stay.

Reviews

[.]

Finally getting to this one, Brian.

Once again, a poem of well crafted images, flowing gently into each other. You have an eye for creating new images as can be seen in this piece.
Nicely worded and well written, as always.
Good job.

[Coyote Poetry]

Very nice use of words and thoughts.
"I will become aligned
with the night light at my bedside
as it shines brightest in the night sky
while my paper mâché heart travels
far and wide"
The above lines were my favorite. Thank you Brian for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Bacchus]

I like this sentiment- a little light and airy for me.
But I think this one is supposed to be just that. Paper mache. Interesting and some good lines here and the poem moves and gently melts away.

[dan]

Maybe I'm being overly picky...I don't know. If your writing was s****y it wouldn't bother me that you over-punctuate with commas. But your writing...your message is clear and interesting, intriguing. This could be a very nice piece, but the comma misuse clouds the picture.
I am going to stop my constructive (?) criticisms and just rate the writing. I feel I am probably getting on your nerves. Keep writing Brian, please. take care...dan

[Brian M. Peeples]

No, you're fine. I appreciate all of the constructive criticism. I'd written these poems before you'd given me advice about commas (like with 'A Square Balloon') So, I haven't had the time to edit and revise these works as well. Your advice only helps guide my writing to become better overall. So, don't think you're getting on my nerves, because you're not. You're actually helping me. So, thank you for the review and the advice, my friend. Take care.

[Brian M. Peeples]

I'd did a little bit of editing if you'd be interested in reading it over once more.

[dan]

Brian, You editing gives this piece a whole different complexion, a very nice flow and rhythm. Just a little touch that makes a huge difference. Great job! take care...dan

[Brian M. Peeples]

Thanks, bud. I appreciate the advice as always. And I always accept feedback as I feel it helps a person grow as a writer. I having a feeling my next poem will flow a lot more freely than a few of my previous ones because of the edits and changes. Thanks again for the review, my friend.

[dan]

It is my pleasure. I am always willing to help. Happy Easter! take care...dan

[zaisham9393]

This is so beautiful dear friend :) I enjoyed reading it.
Thank You for sharing!!

[Nisreen]

I think this write has a certain featherless weight to it
like a paper flying in air
your heart is filled with joy

and its easy to see its beauty through these wonderful words

[wordman]

a poem from the heart,paper mache or real

[Emily]

I love that first line!!
Keep up the great work!!

[PoeticChico]

ahhhh man, what an amazing and inspiring piece of ART! your words are just so easy to follow and so easy to get lost in them. somehow i find myself getting upset once the poem is done, I want more! lol I truly love your work man

[Brian M. Peeples]

Thanks for the review! I appreciate the positive response and am happy you enjoy my poetry. Know that even if I don't reply to a review, I do read ALL reviews. I'll be more active on writerscafe, so you'll be hearing more often from me. Thank you, though!

[PoeticChico]

No Worries!