My Smile of Defeat

My Smile of Defeat

A Poem by Broken Molecules
"

This was written in response to "A Smile to Remember" by Charles Bukowski for the 2013 'Get Lit' Poetry Slam.

"

I walk alone

Sound waves dancing in my ears

The corners of my lips stretching

Wide and bright red

Happily breathing

Happily living

Or so you might think

But this smile

Is not the smile

Of a young woman

With every reason

To smile

Proud parents

A promising future

Walking down the road straight

To her dreams

No.

This smile

The one on my face right now

Is the smile

Of defeat

The smile I hold

The one I wear

Because their eyes

So full of disappointment

And their hearts?.

Well they’re full of hurt and pain

All caused by

The actions that

Contradict

The lies I speak

With no hesitation

But it fills me with frustration

I can’t stand the look in their eyes

But I just can’t stop the lies

I can’t fulfill their expectations

Or even my own

I know I’m just young

But this just isn’t fun

And where does my heart lay?.

My own heart

It burns and yearns for her love

A love I just can’t touch

Meant to be?.

Hopefully

I dream and dream

That one day she will come

To the warmth of my arms

And call it home

But reality pulls the string

At the seams

To my wildest of dreams

Unveiling the real world

Shoving me off cloud nine

Showing no mercy

Tainting my heart

With your poison

But I crawl back

To her every time

My heart

Overflowing with affliction

So next time

You see someone wearing a bright smile

Ask yourself

Is it one of true happiness

| Broken Molecules |

© 2016 Broken Molecules


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Reviews

This was very true and touching. i like and can relate to the last two lines. often we smile because we don't want to hurt the ones surrounding us or we don't want that kind of attention, but deep inside, we feel lost and not understood.
Well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Broken Molecules

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I don't know if you saw the tiny caption, but this was a response to the classic .. read more
Firemay

3 Years Ago

I haven't heard of it, but you got me curious, i'll have a look.
This was very beautiful. I especially love the last two lines because I can relate to that. I'm not sure of this is about you, but there's no need to live up to anyone's expectations if they will only find disappointment regardless. You know, I heard that the people who smile the most are hiding the most pain, but w h suffer when there are people around who want to help? Those were my thoughts when reading this and it was woven so nicely. Great job...!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Sapientiam

3 Years Ago

That's alright. You don't need to get drunk anyways :). If I were you, I would prosper in the solitu.. read more
Broken Molecules

3 Years Ago

I know I'm not the only one. I just really haven't been okay at all for while and have they really n.. read more
Sapientiam

3 Years Ago

Ah, I have trust issues too, so I don't know how to help you... But, I really do hope that everythin.. read more

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Author

Broken Molecules
Broken Molecules

Los Angeles, CA



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22 Female Poet Queer Los Angeles, CA more..

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