A Dream On Christmas Eve

A Dream On Christmas Eve

A Poem by Bud R. Berkich

A poem about an alternate reality concerning a former love interest that wasn't interested.

(For Karma)

Your birthday
and me,
standing in your
outside your house
(or what passes 
for your house)
a knock on the door
when I see you
up the street
walking with friends;
deja vu
of so long ago.

But different.
You do not go
out of your way
to greet me
as back then,
but to mock me.
complete, I
turn to go.

Only to return.
And to find sitting
on the side of a bed
in your front yard,
my mother
making you the
elaborate card
she would never make.
"It's her birthday,"
she says.
"Don't you want to--"
I shush her,
not wanting you to hear,
not wanting you to know
we're just outside 
your sphere
of existence.

Because I can't escape a
past feeling,
or how all of this
is vaguely all too familiar somehow
but painfully different,
inverted, an inverted
symbolism of perversion:
the friends,
the card,
my mother's now 
acceptance of you and,
most perverted of all,
my now acceptance
of you not.

To my mother's 
now surprise
(that wouldn't
in a million years
have been back then)
I finally contemplate "no"
and turn to go,
deciding that it just
wouldn't be worth it,
after all.

And for that,
this is sad.
For that,
I'm truly sorry.

© 2020 Bud R. Berkich

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Added on December 17, 2020
Last Updated on December 17, 2020
Tags: Poetry, free verse, alternate paths, memory


Bud R. Berkich
Bud R. Berkich

Manville, NJ

I am a literary fiction writer (novels, short stories, stage and screenplays) and poet who has been wrting creatively since the age of eight. I have also written and published various book reviews, m.. more..

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