A Poem by C.J.G.

It's the feeling of nothingness building up inside you.


It doesn’t even hurt anymore.

It’s as if I’m numb.

My mind, my heart, my soul

Are all broken, but it’s painless.


I can feel it in me, though,

The overwhelming feeling of nothing.

No tears are shown,

But inside my heart is crying.


Tears of hurt, tears of loss,

Tears of pain.

You would think the tears flush you out,

Like there would nothing else to shed.


But I’ve found they just build

And become even more powerful.

And yet, nothing escapes.

It lives in me.


I feel it when I’m in a clouded room.

I feel it when I’m sitting alone.

I feel it when I’m sleeping,

But even more when I awaken.


It hurts, but I can’t feel it anymore.

It aches, but it has become a part of me.


When he left they said I was broken.

My entire self; my mind, my heart,

My soul. I was lost,

And now I’m just wondering.


Wondering the plainness of this vivid world;

I wish I could see those colors.

Wondering through the dulls of life;

I wish I could feel the excitement


It’s lost. Forever to me, it seems. 

© 2010 C.J.G.

My Review

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I really like this. It's powerful; overtaking, even. Gave my the chills. My favorite stanza was
"It doesn’t even hurt anymore.
It’s as if I’m numb.
My mind, my heart, my soul
Are all broken, but it’s painless."
Awesome job, 100/100

Posted 8 Years Ago

I love this. I feel the same alot and you put it down so...beautifully. Very good job.

Posted 10 Years Ago

i thought i was the only one that felt this way well didnt feel but do in a way that is but mine started differnt is this odd...... good work by the way

Posted 10 Years Ago

"My mind, my heart, my soul/Are all broken, but it’s painless." ==>The words contradict each other, but for someone who has experienced this, I understand it so well. I like the carefree flow and the sentiments of this poem.

Keep Writing. ^___^

Posted 10 Years Ago

Feeless? Is that a word? I would go with painless. Makes more sense and sounds better too.

No stranger to the numb sensation myself, I have to say this one hits a little off-base. The whole point of feeling nothing is that you DON'T feel, yet you present it as an impossible parallel track of feeling and yet not feeling.

The bleakness comes through well, but I wish you had been more certain on your definition.

Posted 11 Years Ago

Numb is all too frequent, but so real. I like how you portrayed it.

Posted 11 Years Ago

this means a good deal to me. one of my favorites, you're a very good writer

Posted 11 Years Ago

A lot of emotions in these words, I would love to break it all down but I have so many read requests to get through, great work, keep it up! : )

Posted 11 Years Ago

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on/and our little lives are rounded with a sleep," wrote Shakespeare.

I'm brooding on the meaning of your poem in a larger context this time, rather than tinkering with it.

Your sensitive examination of the archetypal experience of a nothingness that is frozen heart tears is amplifying a mood I'm in from just before reading this poem, "Lost."

That mood is the feeling of stepping through the looking glass, where an intensified grace of wonder, wild imagination, and freedom from mechanical others is the norm, and the realm of unconscious attachment to simulacra called consensus "normal" is viewed as a strange dream.

Just as science and sci-fi plays with matter/antimatter, I'm thinking AntiMan.

The soul of your poem is "Lost" in Nowheresville, feeling abandoned by those who are not quite REAL. THIS world is actually many dimensions or worlds, most of them unexplored, while most people wail and gnash teeth on the inadequate surface.

Alternately feeling pain or numbness in a perceived realm of relative sleepwalkers, it seems to me is par for the course.

Consider the contrast between a Buddhist Void, and an existentialist void. While the latter is the pain and pointlessness we've all felt way too much of, nothingness as erasure, the former finds serenity, humor, and love in the realization that inner space is FULL when the contraction of the habitual socialized self is released. No-thing-ness is ACTUALLY what everything always already is, LITERALLY, as the clues from quantum physics alert us. We are victimizing ourselves via phantasmal illusions, when the only solution is a will and intuition toward transcendence in place. THAT Void is Spirit Reality.

FOUND -- as the foundation of Consciousness Itself. Buddha was just a true normal. Born 2500 yrs. ago, but belonging to the far future of humanity's willingness to find its true nature.

All that is lost is illusion.

Posted 11 Years Ago

When he left they said I was broken.
My entire self; my mind, my heart,
My soul. I was lost,
And now I’m just wondering.

I can really feel these words here.
This is such an emotional write
and so powerful. A good solid form
of self expression so well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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12 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 10, 2010
Last Updated on May 13, 2010
Tags: lost, love, depressed, life, hurt, pain




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