Broke(n).

Broke(n).

A Poem by C.J.G.
"

I am broken.

"
He's broken me down.
Broken me so many times
The pieces have become too tiny
To try to piece back together.
Each day I scramble to collect them all,
But once they are gathered in my hand,
They break again.
I break again.
They've become so fragile 
Even the slightest touch
Will break each piece even more.
They are beyond repair. 
I am beyond repair. 

© 2010 C.J.G.


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There was something so vulnerable,so very fragile about the subject of the write here it got to me as soon as i read it,this was lovely and one who has been this broken can relate to this.
Come to think of it,how beautiful is this world of words..in the real world one would never confess how broken on e feels,but here we do giving our all and that is how we connect on a more deeper level *smiles.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

oh, that's beautifully sad.

Posted 10 Years Ago


very nice but guess what, you won't be broken by somebody else. You're stronger. That's true. That's all.

Posted 10 Years Ago


There is a strong quality of concise simplicity in the imagery of this poem which compounds its feeling and meaning effectively. It does not labour over the subject, and merely states what it means to convey with a sense of finality. The fragility of the feeling is plainly told through the metaphor of the broken pieces, which emphasises the pain it refers to rather well. To deal with such a subject in a short poem is far more effective I think than the usual self-indulgence many poems are guilty of. The brevity in fact serves to increase its bluntness, which seems to encapsulate the resigned, cold and matter-of-fact notion of the writing. There is a philosophy here too, which is interesting - perhaps when we have been broken once, we will always be broken, and are merely made up of the fragments of our former selves that remain from each experience.
Good work.

Posted 10 Years Ago


;) is this all the same guy? 2nd read and again well phrased in that vein of loves emotion. I'll likely read you a lot... yet on some other visit, hope to read other topics. Spread your branches, little tree! Although I'll never tire of reading about the shards: of young love... me: now, I just wear a lot of bandaids! And, try not to drink :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ah! Another write about intense pain...I have read and reviewed so many of them on the cafe...and every time I review one, I look for something new, because the notion is so ubiquitous that it is hard to give it a touch of your own style...but I did find some uniqueness here...the part about broken pieces...more specifically, the repeated emotional blows described by
"Broken me so many times
The pieces have become too tiny
To try to piece back together"
These lines stand out as the best in the poem for me...
What I was also happy about was that you kept the poem short...your rendition was precise and to the point and hence it did not become redundant and monotonous...
Overall, a good poem..keep writing!

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is such a powerful poem with a consistent and well developed theme and it really has impact.

The image of you gathering the pieces and then seeing them break again is so vivid. It really gets across the idea that this isn't something that you can fix, it's become a daily occurrence and must be getting harder each time.

I think the most powerful technique you use is at the end of each stanza when you refer to the pieces and then echo back that refrain by replacing 'they' with 'I'. If you weren't to do this and were simply to say 'I am beyond repair' it might seem a little self-centred or melodramatic but by associating yourself with the broken pieces and then reminding us that they represent you it works so well.

I'm very impressed by this poem and I hope that if you've written it about yourself then one day you'll find a way or a person who can help you put the pieces back together again.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ouch! That hurts... Your poem is really true and nice.

Posted 10 Years Ago


When we are heartbroken. We feel lost and confused and can't see the road to daylight. The poem story is very strong and very sad. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


It's not one of my favorites but keep writing :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


this was quite similar to one of the themes i had taken up for a poem of mine .. so can easily relate to the pain that's infused in your words .. yeah its true we are beyond repair . but the fact is with the broken pieces we have to live on cause life just doesn't stop . to hell with those who say a broken heart can be mended . it can never be . we just learn to live with it .

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on June 21, 2010
Last Updated on June 22, 2010
Tags: pain, hurt, heart, love, broken

Author

C.J.G.
C.J.G.

NY



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