Abandonment

We started out as the best of friends

There were hours and hours of time we’d spend

Carnivals and late night talks

I gave you my feelings, my heart in a box

 

Then slowly things began to change

As the night sky fades our bond does too

Abandoned again, left estranged

We only talk when its convenient for you

 

Pushed aside again and again

You leave me to sit and wonder when

Instead of simply telling me why

You leave me alone, my heart to die

 

It hurts to see you smile at me

Seeing how far gone we are

You only come for the emergency

Or to talk on the phone from afar

 

And even when the need is dire

You come begrudgingly, like there’s no fire

As if I called you just to see

If you would come to rescue me

 

If you’re supposed to display such love

Why do I feel discarded?  Pushed aside?

As if I’ve become the blackened dove

And all you’re doing is trying to hide

 

I thought I’d gotten over crying

Over all of these people lying

Abandonment is my foremost fear

You know that, yet you never appear

 

Maybe you’re simply protecting you

Meaning I’m no good, they all were right

I’m nothing but gum under someone’s shoe

No matter how hard I try, it won’t be alright

 

I don’t know how to cope with this

The only hope I had no longer exists

So I’m stuck here alone trying to breathe

Wishing you didn’t decide to leave

Reviews

[Jennifer Neuman]

this poem is amazing, you took an idea and put it down in the best way possible. I can relate to it as you left it just vague enough. This poem was at the very least emotional, and I am stunned. It is just that good.
Amazing work,
Jen

[Elvina CZq]

The feeling of abandon is painful than being broken-hearted. You've struck the emotions just right on each line onto the other. The line "I'm nothing but gum under someone's shoe" has brought out the tears within this page. You really have written it well, without making too effort. Simply emotional.

[Queen of Hearts]

It is relatible, and the rhyming scheme was not at all forced. I really like this.

[Saturn's Lover]

Wow, i loved this. Could feel the emotion very strongly throughout the piece. Your choice of words and flow were very good. I can definitely relate so feeling this way too.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought this was a great write. The message was strong within it. I liked it a lot. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Katie Louise Hughes]

Great story within this poem, sad and you did a good job conveying your message! Thanks for sharing! :)

[JenLyn]

Great poem, the rhyming was done well, not forced at all, you painted a very clear picture for your reader. It is sad but a brilliant write! I can completely relate to this poem, it's so sad and full of pain, I think it's something that most people can really relate to. Overall it was a great write! Keep up the good work! KUDOS!

[Tate Morgan]

I like the ababa Idea some I think I would shorten it a bit

[The Analog Kid]

Nice rhyming. This poem is sad and the narrator is wondering and longing. Very heartfelt.

[Luna Northstar]

Your right, our poems are close, well done. I love the way you wrote this, you did a great job!