Split

Can a person be strong
Yet feel weak inside?
Can we fight to be seen
As we're trying to hide?

Crying tears of pain
Beneath brilliant smiles
Fading through the black
While we push through our trials

Can we live on the outside
As if everything's fine
Though inside we're dying
Just biding our time

Can a person be peaceful
While inside they go mad?
As they're turning in circles
Giving all that they have?

Can't decide who we are
Even if we could choose
Whether happy or sad
Either way we would lose

Can a person keep living
Holding on to both lives?
Now so used to their pain
Neither side of them thrives

Author's Note

Needs some work still, so thoughts are welcome. This popped in my head while I was trying to go to sleep and I didn't want to lose it, so here is the product of my overactive mind.

Reviews

[Fallen Rose]

well personally i think its great, and it can b SO true, even tho its a question, and i like that

[Amy Bumpas]

I can relate to this poem, and a lot of people probably can.
It's like been there done that. This is a very realistic poem
about life and trying to survive in it. Great work!

[Nianque]

This product is a good poem. Makes sense to me. Feel like my life right now :-( or :-) . I like the turning circles stanza.

[floarealbastra10]

I really felt it, good poem

[HorrorMaster]

Excellent poem, i enjoy it.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I like the concept of your theme. I think that there could be some tweaking for the sake of meter (the last line of stanza two is an example).

But I think with some attention, you can have something very nice here.

[Devons]

I don't think much work is required here, this is very compact and perfectly expressed. It flows extremely well off the mind's tongue, each point compounding the next quite effectively. The tone of the poem is almost clinically emotive, as if sort of resignedly objective to its subject. And the questions it asks on this subject of the complexity of ambivalent feelings, show a depth of awareness for such subtleties. A very well written piece of work. The conclusion in particular displays an intelligent intensity.

[aftervision]

you asked te questions that many think but never speak -- this is so much like a group questions and answer session that we all need to take part in -- loved it

[Miss Coral]

Honestly, I think this was perfect-- I loved the rhythm, the flow, the feel... and the message. Excellent job. :)

[Augustus]

I could see an evolution even within the poem...It seemed to start somewhat shakily, but once it found its feet, it flowed smoothly...And hence, I loved the last three stanzas. One thing which I found admirable was that the language you have used is very simple. Also, the theme is something which everyone can relate to. We all have split personalities who want to do different things...Although I loved the last three stanzas, I do not necessarily agree with the message itself. It is too pessimistic I feel.... Life is hard, yes, but its not that hard! :)
Apart from that, I loved the title of the poem as well...I sort of had an idea what to expect from the title itself....
Perhaps some minor editing would help this poem, but even as it is, I think it is extremely well written! Keep penning!