THE WITNESS

THE WITNESS

A Poem by A.T.B.

 

amidst the dead,
those waiting to die,
its height surpassing
the crossed swords,
the ziggurats,
overlooking the Tigris
flowing red and
the xeric landscapes
beyond its banks,
an even sadder
palm tree stands with
its palms shredded
by gloom,
its trunk blackened
by the dried blood
of children spilled
by demoniac extremists
who eulogize the fallacies
of contrived divinities,
by nefariously obsequious
politicians effusively
touting ostensible
policies while insidious
jaundiced knowledge
looms menacingly.
Amidst this dying
world, an even sadder
palm tree stands
its shrinking dates
like diseased eyes
witnessing nothing.

© 2008 A.T.B.


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LJW
Amidst this dyingworld, an even sadderpalm tree standsits shrinking dateslike diseased eyeswitnessing nothing.



Your endings are amazing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


amazing beginning and end. the middle was brilliant but muddled down with *ahem* imo TOO much vocabulary. it started feeling a little schticky instead of intelligent.

still... kudos for making me look stuff up and taking a quick www.freedictionary.com refresher course on some of those words and their exact meanings.

i absolutely love the "shredded by gloom" image. that just brought such immediacy to the feeling of the tree and what it represents. also... now that i know what "xeric" means.... i really love how that line flows as well.

the end is what kills me though. "witnessing nothing". it actually sort of reminds me of "neverending story"'s "the nothing". this horrifying... endness. probably not what you intended but still.

overall i am so impressed with your raw and yet high poetic take on iraq and its strange mix of beauty and horror.


Posted 12 Years Ago


Iraq must be some experience...

Posted 12 Years Ago


I really enjoyed this poem. As nature stands quietly in witness to our destructive behaviour. You certainly hit the point.

Posted 13 Years Ago


A palm tree as witness. It reminds us or how short are lives are, and in a way how meaningless. Trees don't have arguments, fight wars, kill. They just stand there watching, probably laughing at our follies, our shortsightedness. Or perhaps they pity us, and are sad that we never learn.

Excellent work as always. (Welcome back!)

Posted 13 Years Ago


this suits my mood tonight. as i've stated in earlier reviews tonight, i'm overly focused on the evils of humanity. what is the purpose of torture and meaness? why do we crave controlling one another? why are we so invested in tearing one another down rather than building one another up? wonderful write, my friend. i just don't understand the continual violence mankind visits upon itself.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Wonderful piece. It has a great sort of droning flow that carries the reader wonderfully through to the end, never lacking in intensity and fervor!

Great write!

-Gabe


Posted 13 Years Ago


a thought provoking write. . . I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I hope your vacation was wonderful.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Amidst this dying
world, an even sadder
palm tree stands
its shrinking dates
like diseased eyes
witnessing nothing.... Wow, this gave me the chills. Amazing writing, and please forgive my tardiness an getting here sooner.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is brilliant. Such an honest yet deceptively simplistic vision. It reads like a waterfall of Truth. Fabulous work. Thank you for sharing this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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12 Reviews
Added on February 17, 2008
Last Updated on February 19, 2008

Author

A.T.B.
A.T.B.

http://cabalamuse.wordpress.com



About
I am neither fish, fowl, nor good red herring (from ASK THE DUST by John Fante.) I'm the author of writings that are yet to be understood. Soon, the world will catch on. more..

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