late night existential crisis?

how weak am i
with my nine lives balanced on my shoulders
oh the weight is taking over
pray to the pipe and four leaf clovers
oh how weak am i
bed of broken promises
cut my teeth on sheets so many times

vinyl records adorn the wall
a melody deposit
poignant undertones and broken bones inside this empty closet
wish the world revolved around this dirty soul

oh i’ve prayed for liberation
abstain forever from sensation
numb to nature and numb to my soul

ambiguity is growing tiresome
why can’t the answers fall from the sky like the manna that was promised?
can’t speak in tongues and speak my truth
restore resilience and my youth
a time before i came to know myself

Author's Note

less focused around conventions and more so just catharsis..take it as you wish

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

very emotive .. i can see your speaker laying awake at night .. maybe a window open and breeze blowing the curtains in a bit .. maybe mid fall or almost summer .. these images are inspired right away in me nog .. your seeker has reached the wall me thinks ... brutal honesty lends to brutal answers .. we are faulty to a "T" so to speak .. and most will feel that guilt and helplessness and eventually ambivalence ...frustration .. anger even when answers are not forthcoming ... i think this is the place one has to step back a bit .. quiet the mind and body ... rest ... and simply wait ... perhaps answers are far removed from the ones we look for ... far removed from "question" even ;) stimulating read for me .. for someone so young as 16 yrs .. you are a deep thinker aren't you?!
E.

[chrysantheranium]

I cannot describe just how much I love this. You bend the words to be your own - it's obvious you don't bow your head to your own thoughts. You take them, you twist them around like clay, you completely rule over them and place them into neat little rows, making them art.

My favorite lines are:
"with my nine lives balanced on my shoulders"
"pray to the pipe and four leaf clovers"
"poignant undertones and broken bones inside this empty closet"
"wish the world revolved around this dirty soul"
"a time before i came to know myself"

I simply can't choose a favorite line - they're all so powerful and beautifully written, there's such a strange golden passion between each word and I just wish that this was longer so I didn't have to reach the end of it. Please, keep writing.

100/100! :)

[Nearly Blonded]

hello!! i didn't get a notification that you had commented on this piece but i appreciate it so so so much!! you're amazing :)