gift of air

gift of air

A Poem by Not Afraid of Bruises
"

wasting air, kind of like how some people waste their life

"

don't panic

 

the air is coming,

feeling it filling your mouth, throat

stomach, hitting there

so you swell. 

 

don't gasp with greed, struggle or curse the world

until you feel the euphoria of

nearly dying, nearly

not making it to see another sunrise

 

and I told them too, not to panic.

and see?

 

now their air is wasted,

itcannot be used again. 

© 2008 Not Afraid of Bruises


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

When I first read this it reminded me of the end scene of Total Recall when the air is released on Mars... hehe... yes, I am a closet Schwarzenegger fan. It truly is a crime to waste our lives because I don't believe he get another chance after we are dead. And if you think about every breath of air you take being its only life then we better use it wisely. Well written again. NH

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

When I first read this it reminded me of the end scene of Total Recall when the air is released on Mars... hehe... yes, I am a closet Schwarzenegger fan. It truly is a crime to waste our lives because I don't believe he get another chance after we are dead. And if you think about every breath of air you take being its only life then we better use it wisely. Well written again. NH

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Casey, sometimes you astound me. I love the start of this: "Don't panic, the air is coming" and i love the starkness of this. The only bump I see is the last line of the second stanza. If this could be reworded for a better flow you'd have a real winner. --andrea.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Basic and true! This is a idea that should be brought to the table. Solid read

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i dont know what gave you the idea to write this!
but i actually enjoyed it!

its a good writing!

keep it up!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

So surreal! Reminds me of what we are doing to this planet!!! Great work! Take care~~~

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

268 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 18, 2008

Author

Not Afraid of Bruises
Not Afraid of Bruises

somewhere beyond the Tagglewood, RI



About
Visit my website at http://www.caseyomalley.com/default.aspx! News: I was accepted for publication at the Sandy River Review (03/29/09)! PLEASE NOTE: I maybe be only 19, but I have been readin.. more..

Writing