A Dream Come True (Not)

A Dream Come True (Not)

A Poem by Ashli The Amazing
"

sorry it kinda sucks

"
Here we are, just you and me
Living our lives care free.
We're all alone with nothing to do
Thank god! My dream has come true!

Every time you look my way
There's only one thing I wish I could say.
I love you
I think you feel the same way too.

Why can't you see
that it was just meant to be?
My heart yearns to be loved
And right now your love is my drug.

I just wish you knew
About my feelings for you.
But there's nothing i can do
So i guess this isn't my dream come true. </3



© 2011 Ashli The Amazing


Author's Note

Ashli The Amazing
ignore my grammar please? any comments.....this kinda sucks sorry.

My Review

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Featured Review

I agree - nothing about this sucks at all. It's uncomplicated and straightforwards in it's portrayal of emotion. Good effort here. You coul dperhaps extend this by describing your other character's expressions, gestures and words, rather than the narrator tell us, but that's only a suggestion, not a criticism. I liked it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

oh how sad

Posted 12 Years Ago


I really like the simplicity of the whole thing its not one of then confusing ones but a really relatable message x excellent write!

Posted 13 Years Ago


it does not suck!

Posted 13 Years Ago


i love this it does not suck what are you talking about ! ? this is amazing can relate to this !:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


When love is like a drug it runs through your veins and thoughts 24/7 and it's all good there is nothing better.
There's much worse in the world then love and passion for someone.. You've done a nice job penning your feelings with this..x


Posted 13 Years Ago


it does not sucks:) in fact it speaks beautifully:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


i like the twist from dreaming and hopeful to want and hope at the end,
this has such feeling, such want for the love for the person;
such truth in this too like these lines here:
"I just wish you knew
About my feelings for you."
this doesn't suck, it has a great feel to it with emotions...
some nice rhyming too. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Aww such a sweet poem, theres nothing wrong that i can see. Loved it! oh, and thanks for your review on my short story apperciate it! :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


aww ash. i really really like this... it does not suck at all... great job(:
i love you

Posted 13 Years Ago



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546 Views
12 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 22, 2011
Last Updated on June 24, 2011

Author

Ashli The Amazing
Ashli The Amazing

riverbank, CA



About
Names Ashli. I'm 16. A junior in high school. I'm Straight. I love music. I love singing I have a YouTube account (search Ashli Cisneros) I love rainbows, UNICORNS, and writing poetry in my free time... more..

Writing

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