Crazy stare

 

Familiar me walks around with Crazy stare.

Feeling numb, avoiding the feelings of my own lair.

I burned my own chair, perhaps life is never fair.

 

In the river of eyes, I am nothing but a prince of fools

Passing by as if I look cool.

But that's okay, I don't mind,

as long as I am true to my own kind.

 

Sigh!

 

 

Author's Note

I always thought that I am ugly, but I really wonder why people do stare or I always felt their stares at me. As If I am weird in their eyes, as if there is something wrong with me. I can't shove out the feeling of negativity in their eyes. sigh...

thank you for reading my piece, a special thanks to Pax for helping me on Rhyming.

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Oh, Lord! You really take me back. When I was in middle school, I had a crush on this boy named Chris. For the life of me now, I can't imagine why; but back then, he was everything.

I'll never forget ... one day in the cafeteria, my friend and I had gotten our lunch, and were at the table about to sit down. Angie set her tray down first, pulled out her chair, and then, sat down. I had pulled out my chair, had tray in hand, and was in the process of sitting down. Unbeknownst to me, she was joking around and had pulled the chair out from underneath me.

As you can imagine, I went down, a*s-first, to the floor; and my tray clattered like church bells on a Sunday morning, resounding loudly throughout the whole cafeteria. The next thing I heard was the loud cacophany of laughter, as every other kid in that cafeteria busted out laughing. I was never more embarassed in all of my life.

As I looked up, in that whole sea of faces, I only saw one - laughing and pointing and joking with the rest of them - CHRIS! I could have died on that spot at that very moment. OMG! How I wanted to die!

This affected me for years. I remember times when I'd, say, be walking through the mall; and I would hear a group of girls laughing; and it would automatically send me spinning back in time to that cafeteria. I just knew they were laughing at me.

When I turned to look, however, they didn't even know I existed. It was all in my head, a reflection of my own lack of self-confidence, the fear of ridicule that had been soaked into my skin in a second.

I can feel the contradiction within yourself, and I think what you're seeing in the eyes of others is really but a reflection of what you are feeling. Our lack of self-confidence wills negativity onto others, but it's not necessarily true. For the most part, I think that people are too busy, wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, to ever take notice of anyone else; and in those rare moments when they do, the thoughts are so shallow that you couldn't even dip your baby toe into them.

The trick is to be confident in yourself and to worry about what you think about yourself. If there's something you're unhappy with, do everyhing within your power to change it. No one has more power than you to make you happy.

[captain]

Your words makes me glad and encourage me more to win the battle within. Your shared experienced is quite relateable, many times of my life I had been laugh at to the stupid mistakes I had done. That thought lingers around that I become the loner I am today. Most of the time I become shy and distant to others. Now I am trying to change that, winning the battle is crucial to be a better person I could be. I am highly grateful with this, thank you very much.

[Sami Khalil]

"In the river of eyes, I am nothing but a prince of fools

Passing by as if I look cool."

[captain]

Thank you again Sami, for passing by. And by the way you are not a fool not like me and your really cool person to have as a friend.

[Sami Khalil]

You too dear friend...I would love to...Take care...:).................

[Ees]

Really cool. I enjoyed reading this. The attitude has a hidden spike to it and reminds me of some of the strange weirdos that I love the very best.
The only thing that bugged me, if something bugged me in this poem was the word "lair"- yeah it rhymes and yeah, it has the ring of creepy cool to it, but it didn't sound as natural as the rest of the poem did.

[captain]

The lair thing is the domain in my mind, the negativity that floods me, though some times I can't shove the feeling out, I do what the best I can to avoid it then I feel numb in doing so. Thank you so much for your honest criticism Ees. I appreciate that!

[Ees]

I get that. I understood the use of the word lair, I just didn't think that it fit in as well as something else might have. You did a great job with this poem! It's only a little criticism and not even strong criticism. Keep up the great writing!

[captain]

Oh, nice, it is still a strong criticism that made me think... thank you again.

[Ees]

thank you!

[prodicallife]

Dear Captain,

I would like to congratulate you first for the composition that you have written is rarest of it's kind.

Addressing the content, how murdered one feels when he is pointed by the crowd in not a good light. A very little statement from an unknown being even kills as if a dagger having a parabolic path comes and hits one in the chest.

Suffocated, irritated, broken confidence, one is completely surrendered infront of the situation and finally stops battling away. However, the best part that I enjoyed the most is,

"But that's okay, I don't mind,

as long as I am true to my own kind."

Tones of energy, confidence and selfness is required to stand their and portray the statements never care to you.

I like it that way. Great write once again.

Thanks for sharing.

Stay blessed
Prodical

[captain]

That lines are one of my favorites, Prodicallife. From all those times when I am bullied, I realized that I am not only fighting the negative feedbacks at me but also I am fighting the battle within. To be strong enough to handle each situation not to fall into the darkness hands. Thank you and stay blessed as well, friend.

[prodicallife]

Really nice to hear that!!

Always stay calm and quite, that actually leads your against person into a dilemma, you can cause a great harm to them.

When you are actually doing nothing.

Regards
Prodical

[Pax]

A pleasure to have help a friend. I always thought that our lives is not so different Captain. Perhaps because I can relate to your life as if we are playing the game of silence. Battling the demons within. We must keep fighting, because we know deep inside our hearts shines in the darkness. We can do this, keep fighting the good fight, within. I had read and edit this before, I always see our perspective match well. Great job for both of us. Cheers!

[captain]

Thank you again Pax, it's great pleasure to me too, I friend I always have. Cheers for the holidays.

[Dewella~Vintella]

Wonderfully done, I was hooked from the beginning ^^ I am the kind of person who likes to people watch, I am not sure why but I do. Outer appearance is what catches everyone attention at first, but when I stare at someone, more so than just glancing it is not because of how they look, but of the vibe they give off. It is something that is hard to put into words; its not the way they look, or talk, or how they carry themselves or even how they smell. But bits a pieces of all of that combined with their inner essence. As I said, hard to put into words, but some people just have a certain 'air' about them.

Anyways, not that I have rambled on. Wonderful piece, I really enjoyed it, keep up the good work. ^^

[captain]

Your words makes me feel glad, made me think of the positive ways why do people stare. Perhaps it is just me, in my case i don't usually stare, i onle done it to the one i really like most, a love one perhaps. Your words brighte my day, thank you Dewella, I really do appreciate this valued insights.

[Lily Mae]

Maybe it's the light of your soul they see.. Xo

[captain]

Thank you so much Lily, with that I hope so, I really really appreciate you shedding some light about this piece.

[Raymond Federle]

Wonderfully done and rhymed! :)

[captain]

Thank you sir, I really appreciate this review.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Concise but powerful. Yes, the lines clearly states your deep emotion.
Sometimes we just can't take it to let them see us like that- as an ugly creature. But we never know, if they only have ugly eyes, too. Haha!
What is important is who we are deep inside our hearts. Physical appearance is never an important aspect in being a human. And those who look in the outside and judge people out of what they can see, not in the inside of a person, they are inhumane.

I can relate to this. Thanks for the share, Captain.

[captain]

Dhaye, it's been long I haven't visited your pages, i'll be going there in a minute, thank you for this wonderful review. I am happy that your can relate to this peace and it's emotions. I appreciate it much.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome, captain.

[captain]

A poem full of pain and hurt, but written with passion through, and you are a beautiful person Captain! do not ever let tell you otherwise :) (or think you're not) because you are. Please keep forever writing, and inspiring us will you? :)

- Elisa

[captain]

Thank you very much Elisa, that makes me feel good about myself. I am fighting my best enemy, 'myself'. Sometimes I rise up to him and be confident and there are times I am down with him in dark depression but I do manage to pull through because its part of life to learn and experienced every aspects of living. I really do appreciate your encouragement, now I felt glad I expressed this.

It's good to embrace your pain and your own worse enemy. If you don't do it there will be denial in the end, and give you no strength... You should always keep on expressing every mood/feeling, no matter how hard it is... and not be afraid of what others may think. (it's your life, and your journey). xx keep on navigating ;)

[captain]

your words makes me happy, thank you. My navigating journey is very stormy, but I can manage, you too keep on penning those beautiful words.

You're welcome dear one. Storms can be great, especially with Captains who are masters of the sea... ;) I will, I will :) many thanks to you too.